Sunday, December 30, 2012

Bump bump bump

Bumping along the bottom and I've been somewhat down this Christmas - even been noticed by some people that I'm not my normal happy cheery self and indeed I'm not.  I'm kind of in a strange old place really as I have many roads that I can choose to go (Oh sounded like Stairway to Heaven for a moment).  Of course you can't predict the future and you can't always work out what is the best thing to do.  If you did, well we'd all be rich and happy and satisfied with our lot.

I had the most awful vision as I climbed into bed last night, it was of my father dying and lying helpless in his bed at the Hospital and it really took me aback and unsettled me.  Somewhere there was a shift in me last night that brought that on - I believe it was from a couple of programmes that were on TV and it sort of flashed in front of me and made me quite anxious and upset for a short while.

It's New Year's Eve tomorrow and I'm hoping that I can finally get some sort of cut off point and sort myself out.  I have all these ideas and opportunities and yet I know that until I get the stuff that's messing in my head out in the open and discussed I won't be committed to making proper and well founded decisions.

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