Scar Wars V

Scar Wars V

Scar Wars Episode 5

(Cue Music)
In a Galaxy far, far away.
Our hero has fled from the hands of BCG and Bad Catheter

and once more finds himself trapped in the NHS Death Star.

The Bed Blockers impede the patient army in their quest to attain getitoverwith.

Meanwhile, the remains of the trashed cancer cells are hunted down and taken out in operation Och and Shaw.

Insurgents are hunted down by the BCG expeditionary forces of the NHS Trust’s coalition.

Our Hero faces his greatest challenge, can he overcome the mutating cells once and for all?

Read on if you dare......

No beds – and that on a Monday morning of all things. The waiting – of which I am quite used to wasn’t so bad as there weren’t that many to be admitted. I didn’t really get much time to go through my listening to music ritual as it would have helped me when the next bit of information hit me – that they would be talking me straight into Theatre. That is pretty nerve wracking in itself as you are walked past all the Theatres and prep rooms and straight into the recovery where people in various stages of recovery are coming around from their operations.

I am led to a cubicle to get changed and after slipping into something a little more Chic – well an operating gown and climbing onto the bed – I am check listed – having previously been consented at lunchtime by my Consultant herself. We go through the usual and my bag is tagged as am I with my ID. We go through the checklist again when they come to get me for the Operation and I am in a room with a lot of people this time. It starts with the Prep nurses, then the Anaesthetist and then another and another – this time we actually have quite a good laugh as the Anaesthetist and I have been joking about blunt Cannulas and also going off to Hawaii whilst I am under. The Cannula proves to be a good one – the best yet and I give 10 out of 10 for it as it hurts (of course) but doesn’t make me almost pass out like some have done in the past. We discuss my rather high pulse rate and I explain that whilst I like them – I don’t really find going on for Operations something that I look forward to in a stress free way.

The General Anaesthetic goes in and I get my Oxygen mask and get to breathe deeply. I feel the icy cold threads running up my arm and as the GA reaches towards my shoulder, I lose consciousness.

Coming around is easy this time, no fighting I am told and I get a nice ice cold drink of water through a straw. I don’t feel the need to pee (I have done on every other occasion) nor do I feel sore or pain in anyway. Within minutes of my recovery I am whisked off to the ward were mercifully I am given my own room. I detest being in a room of other people – that’s the trouble with Hospitals – they’re full of sick people, often much worse off than me (for which I am grateful) but I very rarely relax in these situations. So my own room is a luxury.

My consultant pops her head in and tells me that she can see nothing in the bladder, there are some pink marks which she thinks are to do with reactions to the BCG rather than anything sinister. She has taken biopsies and will see me when the results are back. She seems very chirpy and I am very happy to hear the news.

I am brought a meal which turns out to be quite a hot curry for a Hospital anyway. I am drinking jugs of water which I am going through as if there is some sort of water shortage coming. I know that if I can pee twice and that the Nurses are happy I can go home.

My wife turns up and I manage to go to the toilet and have a pee – nurse is impressed and so am I as it only hurt a little and didn’t sting as much as it might have done. I do a whole jug full – and only the tiniest traces of minor blood clots – no red urine at all – that is a massive relief. I expect to see more blood but realise that there has been no work done this time, there aren’t any areas that require it and it is only the biopsies that are causing any bleeding at all.

Shortly afterwards I produce yet another jug of pee – at this rate – I tell the nurse – I could be peeing for England at the next Olympics. They wont let me home and they say I’ll have to stay overnight – I protest weakly as they know best and I am in a room on my own so can sleep and not get disturbed or disturb others.

After two more amazing jugs full of pee – the Nurse behind the Station – which is just outside of my door – states – shame – if you had done that earlier you could have gone home. I smile to myself and resign myself to a night at the Hospital. I no longer need to pee into jugs and can go directly. As I have a private loo as well this helps as I am up and down quite a few times during the night peeing. Apparently the best way to recover from surgery in the bladder is to drink a lot and I was determined to do just that and it works.

After a great shower in the early morning – great because at the crack of sparrows the Nurse takes my readings and then removes the Cannula (thank goodness I can’t stand these things) and I can just stand in the shower and wake up and feel refreshed.

The Registrar and entourage make their rounds quite early. I am told that I can go home later and that all looks fine except that they saw a few red areas in the bladder? I let this go, this is the guy who told me about the biopsies last time and perhaps having a catheter and all that. I decide that the Registrar works on worst case scenarios (as I suppose you should), my Consultant talks from experience and hasn’t been wrong so far. She was though surprised how well I responded to my first couple of operations and she was very thorough about the grading of the Cancer because of that – I feel very safe in her care.

Breakfast arrives and with it, the Ward Sister (or whatever they call them) noticing that I am dressed and ready to go explains that they are Bed Blocking and that they will let me go about 11 a.m. I am somewhat disappointed as I could easily have gone then but the Urology ward want urology patients and not some other sort. So I sit by my bed and listen to MP3s and doze until I am called on to leave.

I call a friend and let the departure lunge people know and head off for the car park so she can pick me up. After a few minutes I realise that I have lost my bearings and am walking the wrong way so I retrace my steps and arrive outside waiting just a few moments until I am picked up and whisked off home.

I arrive home and put my feet up for the rest of the day. Drinking plenty of liquids I do indulge myself with a slightly stronger coffee than they serve at Hospital – they make coffee like my parents used to in the 60s and 70s with half milk half water – I really dislike my coffee like that.

It is too early to say whether I’ll need to go back into Hospital for an Operation. The outpatient appointment isn’t until the 1st November which leads me to believe that I will again get a further downgrading as they do tend to whisk you back in pretty quickly if you aren’t well. So working on that premise, I expect to hear that there is no more cancer, or precancerous areas in the bladder.

I am trying not to build up my hopes too much but, in reality, I am excited about the possibility of being able to have beaten this and to be in a position to be closely monitored and whilst the BCGs aren’t particularly pleasant and make most people you talk to squirm at the very thought of them, you must realise that they are giving me the opportunity to be cancer free, to live and to eventually be finished with it all.

The road ahead may be long but it just got a lot easier to live with and to navigate. The tarmac is smooth and the service stations are spaced out equally, life can fall back into a pattern and more importantly than that – I can get some control back into my life. Perhaps I may be able to draw a line under the hard part of the journey and review that and stick it in my “experience” file. A new road heading off into the west, sunshine, magnificent sunsets, new experiences and more adventures are waiting up the road for me, who knows what they will bring but, I have to be thankful that I can do any of these things as at all given the last 15 months.

Thanks for taking the journey with me so far. Are you ready for adventure? Let’s see what Scar Wars VI holds for us.