It seemed to be a better day today and I'm a bit more positive and feeling a little bit better about things. That was until I wrote, or rather started to, the family newsletter for insertion with the Christmas Cards. I got to the bit about my dad and had to stop and just take 5 minutes to stop feeling bad about those last few days of his life. I'll not forget what day it was and in many ways I knew when I left him the week before that it probably was the last time I'd see him, alive that is. Mind you I decided not to see him when I eventually got up there, in many ways I wanted to remember him in another way.
I've almost finished the newsletter now and I guess these thoughts come and slap you around the face when you least expect them to. It's getting towards Christmas - a time he loved - and he wont be there. I'm going up in a few weeks for a couple of days - such is my diary that I'm blocked out a lot in the next few weeks and don't actually have a weekend free. I've been out for most of the last two weeks as well which gives an indication of my diary.
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