The Stigma Of Divorce

It appears to me that Mrs. F. feels that there is some sort of "Failure" on her part for the predicament that we are in now and that it is somehow shameful or a failure or some other such heinous crime that she can't tell anyone.  Really?  I mean do people still judge it like that.  In these days of living together and children out of wedlock I'd be surprised if anyone looked upon it as anything other than what it is.  It's sad and regrettable but surely, if you can't actually live together then why go on pretending that you can to give the appearance and to pander to some one else's opinion.  In my mind that's just plain wrong and surely we can get away from worrying about what other people feel about it?  

I remember a time where it was all said in hushed tones about someone being divorced and it was almost always associated with infidelity and spoken of accusingly.  In my own lifetime these opinions and ideas have changed completely.  

I've got a feeling that I may not be the best person to discuss it with either because I just see it for what it is and it's time to move on.  I can see I've upset everyone in my family because I've turned their world upside down but I have to measure it against my own sanity and my own life.  There was no way I could have tried any harder to change things nor could I get anyone to change with me either.  That's the tragedy if you like.  The warning signs were there for a long time and I'd tried all sorts of ways to make those changes and do something about it.  I'd even prepared myself to make us work together (job wise) so that we could get closer or have a common interest.

Oh well, it wasn't to be and time to move on and in many ways, moving out of here will settle things down a bit I expect.  I am not sure if the girls will want to see me or not?  That too will be something that I expect will evolve a bit.  It feels like they are on their mum's side and I'm OK with that because frankly, she needs as much support as can be given to her.  I'm not particularly worried about that in the short term, I just hope that somewhere along the line we can meet up for a coffee or lunch or dinner or something when they are over.

A lot will change after a short while I am certain of that.  I can see that the dynamics need to move on.  It's a bit like I was on the phone to my mum and she said where was everyone and I said I didn't actually know, they were out.  Of course, I've hardly ever known where everyone is for years and it started to hit home to me that it has always been like this or has for a good while.  No one talks to me or tells me anything - it all comes as a big surprise to me.  Another reason I did put to Mrs. F. about why I was going, there are more like that.  I don't know why I beat myself up about it really.  

This week should see some positive moves anyway as we get to look seriously at some places and then go back and see if any progress is made on the property that looked like a bomb had hit it.  I hope that they may have done the right level of work on it so that we can say yes and get in ASAP.  The sooner the better in both our cases really.  I'd like to start moving stuff over and get in over the course of a few days and do a number of runs with my stuff to gradually get myself eased in.  As Mrs. F. is out during the day it makes it easier for me to come and go Monday to Friday.  I now need the impetus to get cracking with the business - it is taking longer than I wanted but in reality, I will just be a month or so later than I expected and I have time and inclination to get working and sorting stuff out.