I wanted more than anything this week to get away with my family as we had no time away last year (apart from a visit to my parents). I had it all planned, flying off on Sunday and back this Friday to Italy, France, Malta, Canaries, Spain etc. I even offered Brussels and Paris by Eurostar. Of course Valentine's day falling in the middle hoicked the prices up but it is no object when the idea is to go away as a family.
No one could make up their minds and there is college work and course work to be done and so, I'm not going anywhere apart from a London show that we organised yesterday! Not even Spamalot!
There's always a reason not to do something and I'm getting worried now that come Easter, I'll actually be doing one of two things. I'll either be part way through a BCG set of Maintenance Therapy or I'll be on Radio or Chemo prior to some more serious work being done on me.
I'm upset about that but I really can't go and be upset if everyone else thinks and acts as if everything is back to normal. Dilemma isn't it?
Of course, some people now want me to do a shed load of work this week and I don't feel up to that, I want to have some time away - I'm just not going to get it.
Come April I probably wont either and then I may be lucky and get away during the Summer. I should have just gone myself or have found someone to go with.
What is also annoying is that I'm trapped by a garden leave redundancy contract so I can't get on and do something else and I'm also a bit worried if I do start something before the time is up as in 4 weeks I'm going back in to Hospital and I really don't know what is going to happen then. It's all the uncertainty surrounding this. It gives you no easy way to plan out your life, actions, jobs and so on. I'm sure once March is out of the way I can probably get a handle on it again once I know what is to happen to me.
Maybe I ought to just take myself off for a week somewhere and relax. Difficult to know what to do really!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment