I've got two errands to do today. I've got to pick up my partner's birthday cake and then get some party food. Now it's about an hour to go before I set off and I feel queasy and a little bit anxious about going out. It's strange I know but that's been a problem for a while now.
I really am having a bit of a strange time of it all. I know I was seriously down last year and it is beginning to feel similar but not the same now. It's a feeling of dread and uncertainty and if I am honest about it, I've started to question all sorts of things recently. The whole lot you know, life, the universe, relationships, past stuff (which I know I shouldn't but the flashbacks aren't helping here) and mortality and so on.
It's because nothing has changed in the past few years, nothing has moved on and I'm still where I was 7 years ago when we moved in to this house.
Anyway, when I get back I can organise this party and perhaps move on a bit. I also wish I wasn't drinking so much again. Got to keep that in check.
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