I know that it is a "learned" phobia but I've had this since I was a child, hate getting on crowded trains and buses and the Underground was a necessary evil; I abhorred that! Crowded rooms, concerts, cinemas and sometimes it's fine and others I get panicky and sometimes I can breathe through it.
It was hot last night so I got permission to put my cooler on - it makes a bit of a noise I have to say and around two in the morning, there was one of the recurring dreams. It isn't me going into a crowded space, it is this chap who has done it for years and squeezes himself into this cave system. Startled awake it was very difficult to control the panicky feelings so I went downstairs to the big room and got a fan and slept fitfully in my chair.
It is pretty horrible having these dreams but I'm sure it was to do with how hot the room was on this occasion. Having worked in temperatures around 19 C all my life (control rooms and computer rooms and offices) I keep my car A/C at 19 or sometimes lower and so that could have triggered things.
I didn't get treatment for this from my hypnosis friend and he's not around anymore so I might see if I can find someone to just deprogramme me. It worked for smoking and also my fear of Hospitals and all the procedures (you may recollect I did this early on in this blog). Here is the link https://my-bladder-cancer-journey.blogspot.com/2007/04/hypnotherapy.html
I am hoping to work around it tonight somehow - if I'm not comfortable the big room beckons!
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