I cannot tell you what has changed exactly but I am getting there which is good. What's changed? I have no idea what has changed at all. I feel better, not 100% but better than I have and I am feeling calm and steady. able to tackle things and I am I suppose happy that I have managed to now book things in - car, maintenance and so on. I don't think I was worrying about them, just knew I had to deal with them.
A couple of meetings and I am OK with attending them but on my guard that I don't suddenly feel anxious etc.
Looking back I note that I was like this way back close to 20 years ago and it was during my treatment or a short time after. I put that down to a sort of PTSD reaction to having come through the operations and treatments and just brazened my way through those and suddenly all the trauma and distress, pent up emotions just poured out and I recall that I had the claustrophobia back then and my friend (Flocky Bicep) was great in helping me through. I was often wanting to run out of situations and had to do some serious deep breathing.
Well, things are back on a somewhat even keel now and I hope to build on that and hope that I continue in that way.
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