This Too Will Pass

 This Too Will Pass.  I know it will but I am not in a perfect place at the moment.  I've a neighbour from hell who wants us to sign up for something we don't want to and he just gets angrier and more extreme when we tell him NO.  A narcissist is always difficult to deal with and his sense of entitlement and one-sided opinions are tiresome as you can't actually deal with him, I've tried twice and he's a complete arse as he doesn't do a balanced analysis of a situation.   Money is a passing issue too and it's Christmas coming up and I've scaled that back this year.

It's been that sort of year.  There's no one thing that I can put it all down to but a series of events and situations that are affecting me.  I absolutely know that these things should not affect me (if that makes sense) for what are they?  They are life's inconveniences thrown my way and instead of saying this too will pass I'm wearing these troubles and my head is in constant movement attempting to make sense of it all.  For that is also part of this, it just doesn't make sense and it plays on my mind as such.  I really don't need to do this, all the situations are out of my control and they will be what they will be but I find this difficult.

So today I need to work on strategies to avoid these thoughts and to also stop sitting down and analysing these and writing lots of notes.  I spent 4 hours last night going over in my mind the crazy sh1t that the narcissist sent through and I have still come up with the same answer, he's lost the plot and I need to stop reacting to it.  I absolutely know this but my head throws doubt in and the Ego is getting louder, so it needs to be destroyed again.  There's a book I've mentioned many times by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth that really sorts this out and so today I will go find my copy and re-read it as it makes so much sense and if I can harness the lessons from there, I will get rid of all this nonsense I am carrying around in my head.  Last time, I got to a point where almost instantaneously I got rid of all the demons in my head and then saw a lot of things clearly.  Sure, it resulted in me leaving my wife of 32 years and getting a divorce but at least after that trauma things were clearer and better.

I must remember that in all this pain (and it is painful - the stress tightens my chest and increases my tinnitus. My hands shake, I feel nauseous and so on) there is a way out of it and that's the present moment.  At this present moment, right now, is this idiot attacking me, are these things actually affecting me now?  The answer is no of course.  I just need to stop my head thinking about it all.  I know what is happening, it's happened before, it doesn't make things easier to know that.  Anyway, This Too Will Pass.