It's interesting in an INTJ way that I am good at communicating especially in business terms and hopefully my written work, in my own peculiar style, is generally well received. I do struggle though in everyday conversation and situations.
An example, would be in conversation with someone they might ask me how I am or some other basic conversational question and I'll generally give a short explicit answer. What I do not do, as I don't think about it at the time, is ask them a similar question thus keeping the conversation going. I don't make idle chit chat and it doesn't cross my mind, until a little later, that I should have perhaps asked as it appears rude. I just don't have the inclination to ask these questions.
I'm OK in terms of a conversation especially about a subject I know about and can bring facts to the conversation but just asking asinine trivial weather and health related chit chat, that's not me. INTJs deal with facts and figures and we have a planned thought out view of things and so ask me about Climate Change, Business, Finance, World Economics, Cancer, Diet and so on and I will be in my element as I know a fair amount, can present it coherently and whilst I have a viewpoint, I will not ram that down your throat rather I will listen and hear the argument that's presented. I may add something here to counter but I've learned not to go all in these days.
We were talking about electric cars for example and the chap had a plug in hybrid car with a very long warranty and he knew what he was doing in terms of he worked out how long he would have the car, the warranty cover etc. He's keeping it for the full 7 years and anything goes wrong it's covered. It's the first time I've heard that argument articulated in that way and that's fine because he has sat down, done the maths and worked out what he wants and is prepared to pay. It's more money than I would "invest" in a car and I was explaining about the problem car manufacturers are facing with the EV mandate but I hadn't looked at one point until he said it. He knew what he was doing, he's done his homework and worked it all out. He'd have got his return on investment in 7 years, anything more was a bonus.
I enjoyed that conversation. What I didn't really do though was all the "how's your partner?", "Nice weather we are having?" sort of stuff because it doesn't get you anywhere or at least it doesn't get me anywhere. These are social niceties that I just don't have or get. I can do them, I just have to be aware of my situation and tune in to it, then I can join in with this sort of inane banter. All my life I've been like that I generally tend not to ask the same question I was just asked back to the questioner to carry on the polite hors d'oeuvres of a social gathering. I want to get straight onto the main course :-)
It's a bit late for me to change now and whilst I can be quite charming it needs the people I am in conversation with to be worthy of me dipping back into my polite chit chat vocabulary. I much prefer to meet people who you know straight away will be good company and have great things to say and you'll learn a lot from. They say opposites attract which might be true but I generally mute down if there's a powerful extrovert in the group. I prefer a sparkling conversation about anything really except football or TV programmes that I have no interest in. I don't know who half (or more) of these "celebrities" are and so you'd lose me on that.
Yes, strange - I must try harder though to work on my inane banter.
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