I hate this feeling that I am in the wrong and am at fault and yet I know that I'm not but it's just the thought of being attacked like this and in such a repellent manner by someone that you felt was truthful, that you mentored and worked alongside and whom you trusted and you were sure they trusted you. For years and years I've supported them only for the most horrendous attack ad hominem on me, absolutely disgusting.
You know what though? Even though I realise that it is just that, an explosive outburst full or vitriol and hatred it has taken me aback and really upset me. It's shocking and uncalled for and best of all, it doesn't reflect the situation at all.
I am actually shaking writing this and I don't need it, it's ridiculous, out of character and just plain nasty of them. Whether fuelled by their own inner pain body or some worm tongue - it is one of the most hateful things I have encountered and really has knocked me for six.
I must rise above it and be calm and patient, logical and factual whilst they go off into their fantasy world. Yuck, what an evil thing to do.
I haven't felt this low for some time. It's the betrayal and the quite evil way it is being done. The bottom line is, I can just add this to the long list of people who've let me down and taken the hand of friendship only to pay it back with loss of contact or as in this case an attack on me loaded with such vitriol and malice that I wonder if they aren't seriously ill or have suffered some sort of breakdown.
I'm laid low for the moment as it has shocked me to the core that, not for the first time, they have attacked me without atoning for their own actions. One of those weird occasions when they take some self damaging set of actions and then after they've festered over it for a while blame their own actions on someone else, namely me in this case. I just wish that I could snap out of this current malaise and move on but there's always the concern, fear perhaps that it will escalate as it already has done.
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