Friday, July 17, 2026

Slightly Better Night

 I managed to mostly clear my mind but then had to get up as my OH heard rustlings outside so armed with a torch I went and checked.  Probably just a roosting bird or something in the hedgerow.  I managed to get to sleep OK and woke twice but managed to go back to sleep or enter that sleep where you think you've been awake a long time but you were more than likely asleep.  Anyway, here we are. 

The "thoughts" are with me and I need to deal with them somehow albeit they aren't as bad as they were, it is still noticeable that I now find myself dipping into this depressed state a couple of times a day and I need to deal with that.  Doing something seems to help but this oppressive heat does make it difficult although I did put up the flower arches yesterday but the ground is like a rock - anyway hopefully they'll settle in and we can grow some climbers up and over them.

I think I am still affected by the closure of the business and I checked that the Notice has been published in the Gazette which it has.  It still affects me how I was treated and there's a sort of background fear that it might all kick off again although what that might be about I have no idea as I have returned all the IP to him anyway.  It plays on my mind.

The weight of the world does too but I can do little about that but my mind hasn't worked out that I have little power to change or influence these things and it is going to have to take its course and it will be what it will be.  All the doom and gloom peddled by the MSM is bad enough and they want you to pay for it too!

Off to my mum's for a few days so hopefully a few days away will ease my spirits - I do hope so.

I suppose that I am a bit better than I was a few weeks ago, it's taking its time to heal - hopefully with the weather calming down a bit I'll be able to do some tidying up and some outside projects, get a few walks in and gradually improve my head space. 

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