Not a dark black day just a total despairing sick in my throat day - close to tears all day long and a feeling of utter helplessness. I see all the reasons but they were there yesterday and the day before and I didn't have these thoughts.
I cannot fix what I want to fix and I am waiting for a delivery but that's not it either, the problem will be there tomorrow. All my usual tactics are not operating either. It really is just ridiculous. I do not feel like doing anything but want to do something and when I start I dislike it and stop as it can wait and I lose the enthusiasm for it.
It is annoying but very upsetting as today I cannot see the way out of it. I am going to try and work through it if I can. It is very difficult today, one of the strangest days as it isn't black or desperate like earlier in the year.
No doubt I need to sort things out here but it isn't going to be easy and I just need a strategy to deal with it. What a yukky day. I've asked the OH to bring in a bag of sweets on her way home as that might give me a sugar hit and cheer me up. I hope so, I need out of this mindset ASAP.
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