The Ancient Art Of Self-Destruction

 It seems that I have witnessed a number of times people being self-destructive.  The "voice in the head" often talked about by Eckhart Tolle is perhaps something to do with it but so many times either knowingly or unknowingly people have made irrational decisions, have lied or avoided situations and then had destruction wreaked upon them or have just talked themselves into it.

My business partner has just done such a thing and what is worse, burnt all his bridges in doing so.  In 5 days he went from slightly eccentric to full on madness and wrecked his side of the business he had worked hard alongside me to build.

Another person I worked with decided to (as he was the chief shareholder) demote me as we were about to go to a shareholder's meeting, to the scribe for the meeting.  I had worked outhow to save his business as he had bought software that wasn't actually his (the copyright notice for where it had been obtained from was clear for all to see).  He hadn't undertaken a key piece of security to have the data encrypted and he was running out of money.  As a Director I had produced his "get out of jail free" card and had a presentation to achieve this.  The meeting was great as a few knew what I knew, they also knew that I was going to table the answer to the problems.  

The idiot started to lie through his teeth and when the meeting got angry and I do mean angry, he finally turned to me and I reminded him that I was no longer the Ops Director and he had made me scribe.  As he had done that and was now floundering I left him to it.  On the way out he suggested the meeting had gone well.  I called him an Oaf and questioned whether a village somewhere was missing their idiot!  I resigned that night citing a number of reasons.  

Others have talked themselves out of a winning position and ended up in the very place they said they'd been in before - the self fulfilling prophecy. 

It helps to break business & personal stuff apart and it helps to analyse what you've got and I feel sorry for my ex-colleague.  He never wanted me to "get angry" with out supplier and reined me back as he didn't like confrontation (funny that as he's threatened me in writing).  SO now he's gone I read the riot act to our supplier and all of a sudden I have full cooperation and suddenly all of the deliverables are appearing.  Coincidence?  I think not.

I could probably write a book (I'm sure someone would have got there before me) where defeat is snatched from the jaws of victory.  It happens a lot more than you think and I'm a realist rather than the pessimist most people take me for.  I am a lot more optimistic than people know, I have to be as I'm a project manager at heart.

Strange how people destroy themselves especially in business.  It's almost as if they predict their future and then everything aligns in them to make sure that failure is the end goal both planned and actual.

Another Flashback

 It's been a strange year for flashbacks.  My mother is awaiting her results from a scan a few weeks ago now and waiting is horrible, your mind takes over and you then have to go and hear the results.  Later procedures were immediate but waiting really does allow the little voice in your head to pronounce your impending doom.

Then a friend is in Hospital waiting to go home and suddenly I was back in the ward and the discharge lounge just wanting to get home and see my family and fighting back tears because they just delayed and bed blocked and took so long to get anything done and I just remember this feeling of why wont you let me go home.  Then once they did I wasn't allowed to walk home - I mean I could walk home in 10 or 15 minutes so then had to wait for my wife (my ex now) to come and pick me up, bless her.  She did look after me so well and it was no reward that I left (or maybe it was).

Anyway, so that flashed into my head and I just recall the feeling of hating the waiting and hanging around when I could just go home and relax in my chair and let the tension of the days before go away.  

It's All In Your Head

I liked that saying "Just because you are Paranoid, it doesn't mean they're all out to get you!" 

The problem a few weeks ago now must have been brewing inside this chaps head for a long time and it was as if he'd made up his mind that I was diddling him out of money and then that I made him look a fool when I explained that in fairness to the business that wouldn't happen especially as I was just in the process of engaging Accountants to the business.  But it wasn't just that it was obvious that he thought I was not going to do something he expressly asked me to  do.

I was actually going to check with him if it was what he wanted and at the same time explain the implications of the decision to him.  For it actually made me the major shareholder for the business.  He must have stewed and thought I wasn't going to do it and wasn't taking my phone calls which delayed things further as he hadn't provided the correct level of detail I needed to complete his wishes.

It was in writing and quite explicit and so I was seeking clarification but apparently that was enough to imagine that I was going to do something!  Now, here's the thing really.  He then convinced himself that I was going to go against his wishes even though I'd not spoken to him and deep inside I think he knew that I would ask him to think long and hard about his decision.  If he had done this it would reduce his share of the business and so any reward would be less and any control would also be lessened too.

By the time I had researched the information he had omitted he's thrown his toys out of the pram, walked away from the business and disowned me!  I've known him 8 years or maybe 8 now.  I am not to talk to him or anything further - it's a total break.  It's shocking but there you go if you tell me you don't want to know and you want everything to stop so be it.

I can see that he may have a case that I made a fool of him but explaining something that was a misunderstanding was actually what it was.  He had picked up a phrase that I had used (in its correct context) and thought that I was making off with the money - pretty difficult to do as we don't actually have a business that is trading.  I explained the whole process of what the business would do in terms of revenue and expense but he seemed to take that as me taking him for a fool?  Was some worm-tongue giving him this - it wouldn't be the first time that his "Friends" had wound him up about the business after all.

It is a shame that I cannot go talk to him or anything else as it's all so final.   You work hard for years and years and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  It's difficult because what if I go around or try and call and he gets annoyed at me for it, he could easily do something that we'd both regret further.  

Does he regret it now?  I'll never know unless he tells me.  Imagine getting so upset at what you thought might happen to you that you walk away entirely.  Of course, it leaves me in a situation too.  I could walk away too although I'd rather try and make a go of it if possible.

Intentions - Goals I Set Myself

 I have to say that the pathetic politicians we have had in the past 20 or so years aren't worth anything at all.  We are now (or everyone should be) aware that they lie all the time, that they are on the take, that they have no idea when it comes to governing for the very people who give them the power to do so.  They are like the worst managers I have worked for and I've worked for a few but I strongly hope that they've received the due karma that they so richly deserve and are either now reaping a miserable old age or have done the decent thing and departed this life.

There is no real incentive to work hard anymore because these scheming bastards just cream your money off of you.  Ronald Reagan said the most frightening words you can hear are "I'm from the Government and I am here to help you!" 

So my goals are to do everything in my power and within the law to not pay anything more in Taxes and that sort of stuff to this greedy self serving self interest money grabbing corrupt back stabbing venereal snot gobbling whore bags.  I really hope that they are in a car crash and the economy will tank and the people finally work out that it doesn't need to be like this.  It's communism and like all similar systems it will come crashing down and they will be blinking in the sunlight wondering what went wrong.

So I've take steps to not give them any of my money,  Even in death these blood sucking gits want the money you've saved after they've taxed it so they can give it to their mates, hand it out to some geezer half a continent away so he can kill his neighbour.  When do WE say enough is enough?  

The leviathan that comprises the State is not fit for purpose, the answer to every problem isn't to get people to do their jobs properly it is to throw more of my money at it and it never ever gets better.  Having worked as a Consultant during the transition from a Nationalised business to one with shareholders etc I can tell you it was like pulling teeth - the staff couldn't work out that they actually had to start working for a living and showing productivity and accountability for their actions.  It was hilarious watching the facts dawn on them that after all these years, they finally had to justify their jobs and their positions.  The inefficiencies were massive and it was around this time of year that I was there going through their operational procedures.  They thought I was just "A Suit" from the management but I was there because I actually had a background in operational management.  The fortnightly reporting was 22 volumes of reports which I got down to one volume and a two page summary.  I'd save them loads of time and anguish - they hated it.

There are 1.6 Million people in the NHS - the 4th largest employer of people in the world!  Around 60% are not medical staff.  Sure you need admin and so on but do we need Climate Change Officers, Equality Officers and so on for each area that they operate in?  These are just high paid jobs for the boys. It swallows around half a billion a day probably more than that now.  You still can't get an appointment to see your GP and they prefer people to go to A&E who are now overloaded.  Fifty or 60 years ago the GP came to you.

It's not the only thing that's wrong but all of this state stuff isn't actually growing GDP now is it?  It's an overhead to running the country and whilst some of it is necessity most of it is waste.  They try and fix things that aren't broken to justify their existence.  They p1ss off people like me all the time because when I was in that area of planning and programme management (which is quite different to project management) none of this stuff would have seen the light of day as their were NO BENEFITS!!  

So my goals now are to let them get on with it, protect my own interests and hope other people also don't let them have their money either and watch the bastards sink below the waves in the storm of their own creation.  Not one of these people have been in positions of power in a real business and they have hardly worked a day in their life.  They cannot answer a well worded and researched question because they are too thick to understand what they are being asked or indeed why they made a certain policy decision.  It was telling that the Chancellor didn't go on any popular programmes on TV yesterday and those that she did go on I felt tore her to shreds and rightly so.

They have inflicted pain on our older people, have only told half truths about pensioner's increases next year, have abandoned the working class and penalised those of us who decided to save for our retirement.   F*** the lot of them, a Pox on their houses and may they feel the wrath of the populace quickly.