That Was Horrible - What An Up And Down Weekend

 That was dark, very dark, everything went dark on Saturday it was frightening but grabbing the book (A New Earth) dug me out of the hole and also got me back out of the very very black place I was in.  I've never really felt anything quite like it, meeting with a Death Eater from Harry Potter perhaps might give you the idea of what it was like.

The room, my mind, my body all went dark, black inside and drawing into myself.  I never want that again.  Much of the trembling has stopped and I can actually use my PC mouse and write again, so bad was it.  Yes, never again.  I am meeting up with my good friend this week and he and I both had our Cancers at the same time and resonate at the same frequency.

A reset is what is required and that is probably what I will now do.  Just reset myself and give myself some time and space.  

I remember years ago suffering from constant business attacks from so called colleagues and getting to a point that it wasn't worth it.  I knew I wasn't well and was burning out so I went into work one morning a few days after I had completed my tasks.  Wrote an email to my team, then one to my boss - whom I had warned repeatedly that his team were hounding me. Then left the office, walked to HQ and then spoke to my boss, said I was going away for 2 weeks and that I would be filing an official complaint because he had ignored my warnings over the months (pointing him to the various emails) and then I got a train home going past all the commuters coming into London.  I was home by 10 and then disconnected everything, put in the automatic messages and disappeared for 2 weeks. 

So maybe something like that leading up to Christmas - I'll work on it.  The difficulty is fighting the Ego and Pain Body as they truly did have a hold these past few weeks and I feel like I've been in a boxing match, the trouble is, I've been in a boxing match with myself which means I am pretty beaten up with it all.

At least the shaking has subsided and what we used to call a mental breakdown was averted and it's just a bit of annoyance and stress resident in my body that will need to be worked off in the next few days.