Blast It - A bad Afternoon

I don't get many of these but it was a sudden blip and I must have let my guard down and thwack - a bunch of confusing thoughts entered my head.  It was difficult because they were sad thoughts to start coupled with some really nice thoughts and then back to sad again.  It was in the past and so that's the silly thing, it had happened and there was nothing I could do about it now and I tried but couldn't get rid of them before they upset me.

I'm fine again it was a 15 minute struggle to just get the thoughts out of my head.  I reflected on a wonderful time in my life, it was a perfect summer day, insects buzzing around the heady perfume of flowers and in a secret garden and no one else around and it came flooding back to me in wonderful daydream colours and I could feel the warmth of the sun and the perfume of those flowers and the sound of the insects and I became sad because I suppose I felt that it would never happen again, that moment, those feelings, that moment in space and how it made me feel.  I'll let you fill in the blanks shall I? :-)

It took all of my concentration to not get all maudlin about it and I managed it but with some difficulty and it was brought on by the merest of memories and blow me took me by complete surprise.  However, in the past I'd probably have been upset for days about it but I'm OK, under control and whilst it took a little longer at least I did get it under control and was able to recall that it was in the past, that it can't be replayed and the sadness wasn't about then it was whether or not I would feel like that in the future and how stupid is that too.  So once you boil this stuff down and bring it under control it is just silly and to me that's what I really needed to reprogramme my brain about.  These triggers are all to do with my mind telling me things and using the situation to test whether I'm serious about what I'm doing and so on.  It's all a nonsense and should be treated as such.