Moving on

It was dad's birthday yesterday and mum was OK until reminded of the fact but there you go, it i bound to be pretty awful and these constant reminders are things to be dealt with and to move on.  Things are what they are and that's it, move on.  Easy for me to say but then again, if I dwelt on the past too much I'd be fit for nothing and it's the same about the future.  I was impressed by Dale Carnegie's take on this and I've probably mentioned it before in this blog but as I will paraphrase here, you cannot do anything about the past, it is history and you can't change it and whilst you may be sorry for what you did (or didn't do) it's in the past and you cannot alter it. The future hasn't happened and if you worry about that it isn't constructive you have to live in the now, today as tomorrow may not happen.  Another friend died whilst I was away, suspected heart attack and there's my dilemma all over again.  I see this and I tend to live by this if I can.  I realise that I need to do something about my future and to live my life on a day to day basis and live for the day and for the moment.  The trouble is that it is just me that wants to do this.

So, for me, my dad is dead and I wasn't particularly emotional about it yesterday (his birthday) or today.  My brother seems to be having it bad, probably worse than my mum and the trouble is that there is nothing you can do about it and it happens - that's the way things are and getting all het up and steamed up about it doesn't solve anything at all.  I certainly remembered my dad yesterday and considered that there was no way he'd want me to be upset or choked up.  There's only good things to remember, fun and happy times, my education and what I am, surely they are things to celebrate and keep the memory alive.  Not sure that dwelling on such things actually achieves anything.  I've said it before, when I see my dad's photo I smile because it reminds me of good times.  Realistically we all have to die and it isn't nice but that's the cards we are dealt with and no matter what I do I can't reverse history as much as I want to.  I don't think I'm callous or being disrespectful, it is just what it is and can be no other way and getting all upset and emotional isn't going to do a lot really.  I don't decry that some people deal with it this way but it's time to move on and live your own life because, it is pretty short and it isn't a rehearsal, you can't go back and make it right.

So, time to move on, live your own life and whilst being respectful, realise that there but by the grace of God go I.  I'm alive thanks very much and that's great, time to get on and use the time left to do what you have and want to and try and do it without let or hinderance.  Throwing off the shackles of the past - damn difficult thing to do.  I like the following clip though - my business partner and I often say this to each other when getting caught up in the past and the circumstances we find ourselves in - ENJOY :-)