My Eulogy for my Dad

I think that after 11 or 12 weeks I can get around to publishing the edited version of the tribute I gave for my dad.  I've changed names to initials where needed.


Good morning and thank you for coming to support us today.  We hope that you will also be able to join us afterwards at the C Hotel 

Before I talk about Dad, both Mum and I wish to take this opportunity to thank T and S for their invaluable support.  They’ve been available at a moments notice around the clock when dad has needed attention at home.  They have provided mum with transport to and from the Hospital, which is a long way from the house, over many weeks, and on more times than we would have liked.  They’ve shared some of the most traumatic moments of this past year and have been by mum’s side supporting her during each and every one of them.  

T and S - Thank you for being there for mum and for dad.  We hope that you can now take a well earned break and not be on edge all the time waiting and wondering what the next phone call will bring.

I know that It goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway, that mum, throughout dad’s illness, has been with him every step of this roller coaster journey and she has been at his side throughout and I know that dad appreciated that you were there being a loving and familiar face in scary, unfamiliar and sometimes unpleasant or bewildering surroundings.  Thank you for caring for dad the way you have and for being there for him.  I know that you would have had it no other way but we thank you nonetheless for that.

So what can we say about Dad?  You can’t sum a life up in 5 minutes and I don’t intend to do so but perhaps I can just give you a flavour of what he was like and just a few reflections on what life could be like in the F household.  

Dad was a very private and in some ways enigmatic man, I doubt many of us TRULY knew him fully.  He worked hard, he had an encyclopaedic mind and was quick witted.  He was a very practical man a shrewd and intelligent business man.  He travelled extensively throughout the Middle East and the rest of the world and was lucky to escape from the Lebanon when the crisis kicked off there back in the late 70s and early 80s.  

Dad loved gardening as T and I can testify having been “encouraged” to help turn over and then double dig the clay sodden ground of the appropriately named Claywood Close, in Orpington when we moved there from London in 1967.  It was there that T and I hit, with a resounding and echoing thud, what we thought - with our over active young minds - must and could only have been a second world war bomb buried in the mud and it was dad who carefully checked and found it to be the submerged trunk of a large tree ploughed into the ground by the builders.  

We also spent many days creosoting the enormous fence around the garden for pocket money something that would have Health and Safety people going bonkers today. There was no minimum wage in 1967 but knowing mum and dad we probably got paid over the odds and it supplemented our pocket money very nicely indeed.

Once finished, Claywood Close was an amazing riot of colour and had a huge vegetable plot and mum and dad produced one of many amazing gardens there and in fact all their subsequent houses.  It was one of dad’s great joys and the floral arrangement on his coffin reflects his great love of flowers and of their wonderful colours.  He knew all the Latin names of the flowers, shrubs and trees and where they’d thrive best and his vegetables were amazing, it was like having your own Geoff Hamilton or Alan Titchmarsh in the house.  

T and I probably didn’t get the health benefits of all those home grown vegetables.  Back then T and I thought a packet of Rowntrees fruit pastilles would deliver your 5 a day and we probably still think that today.

Dad was a great lover of music and we have tried to reflect some of that today but with such varied artists as Queen (one of his favourites), the Rolling Stones, Status Quo, Country and Western and Traditional Jazz in dad’s collection to choose from it proved difficult.  We hope you enjoy the choices and that he would to.  I was going to explain, but you can ask us later, why we had the Acker Bilk songs.

The house was a happy musical place, although I’m not sure that all of T’s and my music choices were always fully appreciated.  If the music got too loud and we didn’t turn it down when asked, dad would pull the fuse out and all the power would go off to our bedrooms rendering our record players useless.

Together with my Trumpet, dad’s and my electric guitars, Tony’s drum kit and dad’s keyboard we must have been great neighbours to live next door to when we got together to make music (well we called it music).  

It’s not a widely known fact but my dad was the greatest cricketer in the world, he was also the best footballer, the fastest runner and the best table tennis player or at least he was in our back garden.  To us he was Freddie Truman, Brian Close, Bobby Moore, Bobby Charlton and Gordon Banks all rolled into one and as every child knows, their dad is a superhero, indestructible and totally brilliant at absolutely everything.  

We learnt how to trap and strike a football, how to bowl an off break, why you polished the cricket ball on one side, how to play a forward defensive stroke, bowl a googly or thrash a loose ball to the boundary.  He was a demon at Table Tennis too and had a table tennis trophy to prove it.  He even built us a table tennis table which saw plenty of action. 

He played a mean game of cards and a shrewd hand of dominos too and like his dad, my granddad, he wasn’t averse to dropping a biffer in every now and then, you have to watch out for those Fs I can tell you!

Not only in the field of sports was he proficient he also taught us woodwork, how to saw straight “let the tool do the work” he would say, how to hang wallpaper, paint, lay bricks, plaster, and he taught us electrics and plumbing too. 

Dad loved doing crosswords; he enjoyed Science Fiction books and got great pleasure from modern technology and what science could now do.  Often he would reflect on how things he had read about as a young man had come true especially Rockets and landing men on the moon, computers, mobile phones, medical advances and the like.  Dad was always well read and could talk to you on almost any subject you wanted to bring up.

Dad had a keen and shall we say “well developed” sense of humour.  We call it the F sense of humour, it can be pretty dark, it can be downright stupid and it can be witheringly funny too.  Even just a few weeks ago, when a nurse asked if she could take his blood pressure he said, "as long as you bring it back again afterwards!"  His sense of humour and stoicism and dare I say bravery saw him through these past difficult months.  He battled on and whilst there were some pretty bad days he kept courteous and polite and he tried to bring his humour to bear throughout. 

Always the joker, on one occasion he kept other patients amused by holding up two urinal bottles to either side of his head looking like an over sized Shrek character.  His final admission to hospital was due to a fall and even that became known as Dad’s “Del boy moment” as he crashed through the door of the bathroom.  He managed a wry smile when we told him that one.  

Dad adored the humour and sometimes silliness of films and shows like Airplane, Only Fools and Horses and Dad’s Army as well as comedians like Tommy Cooper, Eric Sykes, the Two Ronnies, and of course Morecambe and Wise.  We’d be watching these with him rolling around with laughter and it was even funnier if mum didn’t get the joke or see the funny side as that would make us laugh even harder.  It’s fair to say that we had lots of fun growing up with mum and dad.

It could only be him who on one occasion sent his sons off to the playing fields looking for Sheep’s feathers.  It kept us happy for hours and hours until we finally twigged what was going on.

As I said earlier, Dad enjoyed Cross words and puzzles of all kinds – he could normally complete the Telegraph crossword in around 10 minutes – it would take me that long to get just one answer – in fact it still does.  He was brilliant at doing things on Countdown and programmes like University Challenge.

He used to ‘wind up’ some of our fellow commuters on the train.  Sometimes, when the crossword was particularly difficult, he would make a large gesture of folding his newspaper early on in the journey and looking at the city gents struggling to fill in theirs, he would sit back and say “that was an easy one this morning” and smile.  

He was a bit of a rascal too as he would get us to arrive early at the station and he would sit in someone’s regular seat.  They’d spend the journey up to London rattling their newspapers at him or mumbling things like “I say Gerald, isn’t that chap in your seat?”  T and I had difficulty keeping a straight face on these occasions and would set each other off trying not to laugh.  

On other occasions he would throw his voice and make cat meowing noises whilst people would be looking around searching for the poor non existent creature.

Dad used to drive mum to distraction sometimes with his japes getting an “Ern, get away with you!” or something like that.  Life was never dull in the F household.  He’d drive the car on the white line of the road when there were no other cars around to get mum to tell him to “Ern, get off the cats eyes”.  He’d carry on doing it to see just how far he’d get before getting a bash on his arm.  T and I would be scorned not to encourage him but that was part of the fun of going out on an expedition in the car and dad was always up for a laugh.

Dad was a man of promptness and celerity he would hate to be late and by now he’d be looking at his watch, shuffling his feet, lifting his eyebrows and rolling his eyes at me for making a long speech and he’d be horrified that I was saying nice things about him so I’ll end with this.

We remember Ernie, our dad, with a great deal of affection and with enormous pride.  We are very fortunate that he and mum were together for 56 years and we are grateful for their love and the solid family home and foundation they built for us.  He was a great dad, a fabulous granddad, a funny and a generous man and above all he was a really nice bloke and we will miss him dearly.

“So Long Dad” 
Be good 
Oh yes - And if you can’t be good, be careful.


I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed (I think that is the right word) composing and delivering it.  He was indeed a very special man after all.  He'd just hat for me to say it that's all :-)

Cheapskate Manufacturers

Mmm.  The new towel rail cost a lot of money for what it is so why when you have an expensive piece of equipment do they provide cheap inferior screws?  I don't know either but having one sheer off as I was screwing it home - thereby losing the thread in the wall and not being able to retrieve it is a colossal fail and a further waste of my time.  On top of that the shower tidy looks great but comes with 2 screws where patently it needs 4 to secure it properly!

This lack of attention to detail and obvious design flaws are so common that I am certain that in everything I have done in the bathroom I have had to compromise, adjust and make good mainly because no one has actually installed these things in real life.  Pah!

I totally forgot that this time next week I will be away with my mum starting a week's vacation, taking her away for a break.  It has been 12 years since she has been away and also, I hadn't quite realised that she probably hasn't been on her own in 20 or more years.  Dad needed a lot of attention (I think that is the right way to put it).  She went out today up to the village and got in a bit of a mini panic attack.  Sad isn't it?  Understandable but I hope that a week will be a good investment and that mum will enjoy some time away from the house and we can get to see some nice attractions and the coastline is meant to be amazing.

We will have to make sure we don't tire her out :-)

Reflections on a way of life

I was taken by the way life is led in Italy.  Not perhaps in Rome but in Bologna which I found to be a most charming city.  It is a trap that one can often fall into when on holiday and you think about the idyllic life, a "lifestyle" business venture.  The restaurant was a case in point.  

The chef, as we left, was sat at the table, drinking a beer and possibly a Grappa, smoking, playing cards with some locals.  We customers were left to finish off our drinks, shake hands with him and the waiters and wander away after a memorable experience that cost far less than a meal, a night at the theatre etc :-)  For a reasonable amount of money we had spent a gastronomic and entertaining evening in the company of people who not only enjoyed what they did, but shared that joy with you.  It was infectious as they were passionate about food and if you asked a question they delighted in telling you where the food came from, how it was prepared and so on.  When you said that you enjoyed some particular part they beamed from ear to ear with pleasure and gratitude.  Their work was done, it was the thrill a performer gets from applause, the comedian gets from laughter.  It had nothing to do with Michelin Stars or anything like that.  There is no huge tourist industry in Bologna and so many people were Italian and so this was no show for the tourist either.

What impressed me was the genuine joy of this one restaurant in the world, in a tiny back street, in a place that not many tourists go - there was no rip off pricing or difference between one and another, we paid what the locals paid and we enjoyed and joined in with the experience as much as they did.  Frankly this attitude is rare in the UK.  I think you do find it in small out of the way places and quaint villages.  I've seen something approaching this in the deep in the country pubs where enthusiasm and home fare make a pleasant change from the city and townscape pervaded by chain shops.  All High Streets look the same with their Costa, Starbucks, Dominos, Tesco, Sainsburys, McDonalds and so on.  You can go to any town or city in the UK and they all look like each other.  That cannot be said for Italy or France for example.

There's no identity in the UK, no personality no passion for service although where you do find the odd pocket of it, they tend to thrive.  Small restaurants with a reputation tend to be where it is at.

There's also a line between living and running a business to balance things too I think.  I imagine that the restaurant we went to was successful and that he made a reasonable living as did the waiters and staff.  It wasn't being made into a chain or franchise, it was what it was, had been always stuck away down a back street and there was no need to make so much money as people were satisfied with what they had.

It's an interesting set of variables to be added to my review of what I want to do next.  Without doubt this chap was really good at what he did and his staff were as passionate about food,drink, service etc as he was and that made a huge difference.  I doubt anyone was paid mega money either but being at work, enjoying their jobs and enjoying a laid back life just seemed to do it for me.  Something that allowed you to express yourself like that and to have the environment (and that's also important) to not be expected to be constantly climbing the greasy pole also play a part.

Wow Spammed

In my inbox loads of comments for this blog but none appear here.  Good old Blogger software managed to pick out the spammy nature of the comments and not one of them got through.  Yipee.

Back from Southampton before midnight which is pretty good I have to say.  We were expecting a 1 am return but the roads were clear both ways and we had a good journey.  Have to say that it was a good meeting and the food was nice, if anything there was a bit too much time between meeting and food but they needed to set that up so I had a few more Gin and Tonics than normal - in fact, it has become my latest tipple.  Normally I'd have a scotch but I find a nice long Gin really hits the spot!  

Had a brief chat with Flocky Bicep this evening on the way home, at least I got some of the frustration of my present doldrums experience off my chest.  

Southampton Later Today

Looking forward to a trip out with Flocky Bicep to Southampton.  It should be a great afternoon and evening and the menu looks good.  Let's hope it lives up to its billing.

The bathroom is beginning to look pretty good now, just some minor painting to go to achieve a finished off showroom look.  My brother-in-law needs to come back and do some fixing of blanking pieces and once that's done we should be there or thereabouts.

Trying to work my way through the dilemma of what to do next and that was spurred on by conversations yesterday.  I certainly wouldn't mind getting a grip on what I want to do and started on my big mind map adding a new section that looks at just giving up my life today and doing something completely different (a la Monty Python!).  It will either get it out of my system or trigger other ideas.  Indeed, the main thing is that it will allow me to explore these ideas and analyse them and bring them into the mix as some sort of balance against the other areas I have explored, or started to.

It's perhaps one of the strangest things ever, not knowing quite what to do next.  It's never really happened in the past - I've had my moments for sure but this is really a strange place to be.  It's almost a blank sheet of paper moment.

The Dilemma

Is taking so long to resolve itself.  It's all connected I think to me getting Cancer because whilst I was careering along with my career it all seemed so fluid and connected and integral and part of a plan that I had when I was younger.  I'd worked my way up and got to a point of confidence to go my own way and had for a number of years managed to make a decent living (thank you very much) out of what I did.  Then two things happened.  One was a change in the way that businesses were being treated and viewed by the Tax man and the other was, as I now recognise, the beginning of me being ill.

The Tax man was easy enough to deal with, I had to change the way that the company worked and whilst it was awkward it meant that my work load slowed and the stress went down but also I started to slow down and I started to get short tempered and not particularly likeable and then reined that in and took an employed job.  Not long after that the cancer presented itself and lo and behold my life was turned upside down - as the common parlance goes.  

Since then, it has been a journey that has shown me the best and worst in people.  It has taken me from people who thought they were running a multi million dollar business but only had £16 in the bank!  It took me to a charity where there were seriously worse off people than me and that gave me an opportunity to heal from the first disastrous venture and then of course came two years (or more) of Doddle.  That's been a real eye opener, it's proved many things to me but it has left me with more questions than answers.   Of the answers - I know that I've got the right stuff to build an effective business and pull all the components together.  the work that was conducted is to a very high standard and as many people have commented, they are very surprised that we didn't get funding but then again, many of these people haven't ever gone through a funding round.

There's miles of IP we developed but whether I'd be prepared to go through all of that again without getting paid for it is questionable.  Indeed, that's the interesting thing about it.  I've got all that experience that could be delivered but of course the majority of people who need that level of expertise are not in a position to pay for it!

So what's on the table?  Well I can pretty much do anything I want to do as long as it brings in some cash.  Somehow, now, it has to suit me.  By that I mean it needs to revolve around what I want to do.  I'm still in a different place to those around me and Monza, for example, just proved that you should get out there and enjoy yourself - I'd procrastinated long enough and just went for it.  I'm sort of held back, not free, I have "obligations" and that's also difficult in determining what to do.  Surely there comes a time, somewhere along the line, where you are no longer needed and instead of being the dutiful provider bit you just get the hell out and do your own thing.  The line between domesticity and freedom are being tested and barriers are being pushed as this is part of the exercise of what to do next.  In an ideal, blank paper situation, I'd be looking for something that I can do for the next 10 years or so heading towards retirement.  I'm working on the theory that having had cancer once, I'm pretty much likely to be more susceptible in the future (even though that may not be so) but it is likely that I'm not going to make it into my 80s and so I need to get plenty of things in within the next 10 to 20 years.

So, I'm limiting myself in my expectations to domesticity and not to freedom and perhaps I need to inject that freedom argument into my mind map sheet which is growing day by day analysing the various ideas and putting them into context.  Everything should be in and I've not been doing that "blue sky thinking" or "out of the box" thinking we used to do in workshops?

It's another "argument" to be tabled and that's the whole point of setting stuff out even the illogical and the downright absurd - there should be no idea is a bad idea philosophy applied to all ideas.  Once all these are in, then you can start to argue the pros and cons.  Because I haven't wanted to explore the secondary aspect, I haven't been giving myself a chance to review it and so have been feeling a little lost at sea with the process.  I should know better than this but of course, no one wants to consider things which may be unsavoury or may not be nice things to do.  Now I realise I should explore all these avenues as I can close them down or follow them as needed.

Well that took ages

My mate dropped me a line as I was struggling with getting the side panel on the bath - it was about 1 or maybe 2 mm too large caused by one of my tiles slightly rising at the edge of the wall, just a fraction.  I tried to drill the tile but it almost caused my drill bit to burn out such is the nature of them.  So the next thing to do was to decide whether to shave a bit off of the bath or off of the side panel.  Well the side panel has a return on it that I reckoned could be sanded a bit but not taken away - so I took a little off of that - as much as I dare but it wasn't enough so had to work on the under sill of the bath return.   So far so good but it is in the corner and a plane wont reach neither would a rasp and my small sander could just about reach.  So I had to sand this thing down bit by bit and use my modelling knives to shave off small bits at a time.

It was then my colleague suggested that I " focus on the finish line."

I responded in kind with this:



Which was exactly like it felt after I worked for close to 4 hours to fit the damned thing.  It looks absolutely brilliant now though :-) The worst bit after the rubbing down and endless fittings was to lie on my back and fix the holding brackets to the bath.  Somehow the instructions were wrong once again and there wasn't 4 anchor points, just three so I had to "adapt" the 4th to make things work.  It looks a treat now and the bathroom is starting to look really good.  I managed my first shower this morning and was suitably impressed with it, the shower screen working well from the inside and keeping out the water yet it doesn't look terribly convincing from the outside.

Had a long chat with my business partner today and we discussed this - I had written to an old friend that " Doddle has changed the career landscape for me in many ways and so deciding what to do next is taking a little time."  We both agreed that things are not quite what we expected them to be at the moment but neither of us had any answers as of yet.  It was good, as always, to chat it through.  Both of us had cancer at the same time and we have an interesting set of similar experiences.  Onwards and upwards.  

Bringing it all back together

It's difficult to determine where I am right at the moment.  It's a strange place and I'm stuck in some doldrums (perhaps of my own making).  The bathroom and going to Monza have been a distraction and in a way a pleasant distraction.  At least I've decided not to head back into my earlier life in Electrical / Plumbing for a living, it's just such hard work and I no longer have the appetite for it.  It was nice to go back and do a bit of it I suppose but in reality, it would have been better to have had someone in to do more of it than we did.

I have been trying to work out quite what to do with myself from now onwards and I can't get to an answer.  Much of this is to do with levels of commitment and in addition not wanting to get involved in corporate life again knowing full well that I would probably end up giving someone a slap.  I'm disenchanted with lots of things these days and these include my hobbies, my own life and just about everything.  Monza cheered me up no end, it was after all a holiday and it was amazing and interesting and crazy so that's fine but it's not real life.  

I've started to look at whether the genealogy business could bear fruit.  I suppose it could, I'm good at it, I've been doing it for years and perhaps it would interest me as I enjoy research.  And yet again, something is nagging at me not to do this.  I'd like to work abroad again but doing what?  I just can't get to a conclusion and whilst I think I know why that might be I'm a little worried about picking at the scab and exposing what could be lurking underneath all of this.  I'm a little frightened about what I'm going to find and what answers I may have to arrive at.

That said, I suppose there is a need to confront these thoughts and inner demons somehow.  I'm out a couple of days this week and I might get some think time in.  At the moment, I really could do with getting past this barrier and moving on and making some decisions.  If not for me then for everyone around me.

Almost there, almost there

I finished off the grouting and filling, the radiator is on without any major upset, one tiny leak and that was the lot, even the toilet roll holder is on but not the towel rail which is too small!  Mrs. F. is painting and I have switched on the hot water to run the shower but perhaps will wait until the morning to actually do that.  The blind is also in place so no one can see in, not that they can, but we have a front facing bathroom - unusually.

After a few showers have happened I can check to make sure that my handiwork from yesterday, refitting the overflow has stopped any leaking and then I can put on the side panel of the bath.  Mrs. F. has ordered the vanity unit mirrored cupboard and the shower tidy all of which I can fit later this week.

Just a few little bits to go and we have out bathroom back.  It will be time then for me to start on the downstairs WC which needs a lot of work to sort it out.  Will it never end.

I'm now retiring hurt for the day :-)

Instructions and the art of reading them

I'm a great believer that you should read the instructions.  However, having done so and installed my concealed cistern and now the shower screen I may reconsider.  You see the screen doesn't look right - it would do if I were to site it where I though it should be on the edge of the bath but they suggest 15mm in and that's what I did and it looks damn awkward there.  The Cistern gave a height that when installed at means that the handle is a little lower than I expected and it looks out of balance.

Anyway, I managed to find out why the overflow was leaking and spent about 1 1/2 hours carefully filing open the overflow to fit the chrome insert.  I found that it had a small raised edge that wasn't seating properly.  After filing it out, I finally made it all fit and no leaks!  Yipee.  The screen is in, the new window sill is in, the tiling is all done and I managed to do the silicone beading which looks great.  The threshold into the room is installed and we are just about ready to do the final touches tomorrow to make it finally usable.  A new blind, the radiator, towel rail and other furniture etc will all make a big difference.  If there are no more leaks after some more rigorous tests I can put on the side panel and the room will be all but finished apart from painting the door.

Off to bed now as I'm absolutely knackered :-)

Easy but messy

Shower kit is installed and ready to go, it looks quite good but can only be used properly when the screen is installed.  At least it is beginning to look like a bathroom now and the potential is there but every time I do some work I throw up dust and debris and so the floor and surrounds are covered in a thin film of dust once again :-)

Let's hope I can make sufficient inroads this weekend to finish off the dirty work so we can get on and paint and finish it.

Now to try and start to clean up my office which has been used as a workshop for the past 4 or 5 weeks!

Have a lot of things to get through and little time to do them.

Off out this afternoon

So I am planning, in an hour or so, to fix the shower riser pole and have that done ready for tomorrow when I'll fit the bath/shower screen.  It will then make the bathroom functional but not complete.  It needs 24 hours to set the silicone around it and then it will be done.  Perhaps I can get the majority of the bathroom complete by then and I just need my brother in law to return to so some minor finishing off.

I have to do some more checking, or rather final checking, to make sure that the bath isn't leaking especially around the overflow which is my greatest worry.  If it is clear - and it has been all this week - I will then put the side panel on, which gives a finished look and also adds some integrity to the bath side.  I have the radiator to go on and some of the bathroom furniture too.

So a full on weekend.  This afternoon I'm off to Surrey with Flocky Bicep for a meeting.  We are guests and the nice thing about that is that we will be treated to  a nice meal and some drinks :-)  Hopefully we wont get back home too late.

I'm working on what to do next.  It is extremely difficult to work out what to do.  I have some ideas and some thoughts about what I'd like to do and yet none of it makes much sense to me at the moment.  The basic logical thinking it through approach is helping get the questions and some of the options out and I'm using mind mapping techniques to do this but I'm not exactly getting anywhere fast on this.  I think the "disappointment" of the last two encounters has re-enforced what I feel about the majority of jobs and employers these days and it makes me sad that people you feel you should respect show me none.  I've got to a position in life where I don't take, or have to take, any sh1t from anyone any more :-).  By that I mean that anyone who treats me like dirt or hasn't got even the commonest sense of manners will find it difficult to work with me.  There you go, high horse time :-) I think I've just got to that point where what matters (and I'm not sure I still understand that even now) is to have an enjoyable life, little stress and certainly not to have to work with idiots ever again.

Perhaps I set my sights too high?  I'm sure I'll get to the answer and, if the truth be known, I probably intuitively know what that answer will be.  Maybe I'm just not prepared to accept that truth.  Something keeps saying to kick it all in to touch, drop all the things I do now and have a fresh start.  That's liberating and frightening all at the same time and probably a bit fanciful.  Oh well, once the bathroom is done I can concentrate on these thoughts and actually get on and do something.

Bathroom Blues

Well black, white and reds actually.  Reality day today and got back into the finishing touches.  It was grouting day today and filling in all the little dinks and dents ready for painting.  My hands ache like hell as it is slightly different doing wall tiles to floor tiles and I had to work a fair amount in really difficult conditions stretching over the bath.  All done now but spent most of the day at it and no lunch either.  

Am now finished and cleared up and awaiting it all drying out and I should be able to get the shower in on Saturday ready for use on Sunday - well that's the plan!

It is strange being back home again after such an eventful weekend.  I have managed to book a holiday with Mrs. F. and my mum is coming along too.  We are going to go to the Northumberland coast, near Berwick-upon-Tweed.  It is an area we have always wanted to visit.  My mum hasn't been to the sea since A and I took her and dad to Hunstanton some years back.  Looking back, dad wasn't great on his feet then and perhaps was already ill?

I have booked a place that is yards from the sea so we can wander out at any time onto the beach.  It is unfortunate that we will be bringing mum home the day before dad's birthday and we wont be there for that.  I had hoped that we would be away at that time and do something like have a meal but will have to think of something else.

Interestingly mum had a bad day yesterday and yet I don't tend to have had any bad days.  I have a picture of my dad nearby but it cheers me up more than makes me sad.  He'd have been most impressed that I went to Monza and would have wanted to know all about it I'm sure.  

Oh well, better make sure that everything is returned to the bathroom so people can use it I suppose :-)

Verona? No wait what's that over there

We somewhat amusingly had to return to Bologna to pick up one of the lad's mobile phone - yes don't ask!  We had also decided that Verona would be a good way to end the trip and we would go via there then come back to Bologna and on to the airport.  Of course, with the lads being out until sunrise, the plan never quite got there.  We had a late start but headed off that way.  Interestingly enough, we spotted Lake Garda off to our left and we ended up heading to the Lake at a place called Desenzano and there was a nice restaurant right by the waters edge where we stopped and had a really excellent lunch.  The Desenzanino Restorante made a lovely last meal for us in Italy, it was as hot as ever and we just spent a little time chilling out, watching the people and eating the most delicious seafood.  I wished I'd gone for the more ambitious menu which had a bit of everything in it but next time.  Mrs. F. has often wanted to go to the Italian Lakes and as we have seen some of them I think that might be on the cards for the future.

This is the side of the restaurant and where the couple are walking is where our table was - what a great location - serendipity works its magic again!

After lunch we headed back to our original Hotel in Bologna, picked up the mobile phone, stalled the car in front of a bus (that was funny and frightening all at the same time) filled the car with fuel and then managed to get back, checked in and into the first class lounge for a few well deserved beers and snacks.  The flight back was uneventful and I made my way home from the airport and Mrs. F. picked me up.  I would have been home earlier but as chance would have it the train got held up for about 5 minutes and as I arrived at London Bridge Station my fast train was pulling out on the next platform - damn!  However, all was not lost as I bumped into a good friend and bored him stupid with my tales of daring do in Italy.  He had just had a nice incident too bumping into the Long Jump Olympic Champion Greg Rutherford and chatting to him in a Coffee Shop.  It was the day of the Athletes parade in London where all the Athletes (Olympic and Paralympic) took part.

Some summer of sport because later in the evening and into the next morning, Andy Murray won the US Open Tennis and became the first Briton to have won a Slam for 76 years (I think).  What a summer of sport we have had.

I told my mate that Monza was mental - I meant that in a nice way - it was a really good experience and I'm quite impressed with the way the young guys I was with take it all so matter of fact that they can just check out something on the Internet, buy some tickets, reserve a car and Hotel and just go and do it.  Good for them, the opportunities are there you just have to take them.

Flocky wondered if I felt better now that I've been away and yes I do I feel quite charged up.  The trouble is that it has kicked off a whole new set of thoughts about what to do next.  There were some people making a great deal of money out of the fans at Monza, there were opportunities to see things and do things I hadn't done before and there was an ease about the people.  They seemed to be really easy with their lives and their enjoyment and they were being "Italian" which is great.  That makes me wonder whether it is possible to achieve that happiness about your self, your situation and what your lot is?  I'm not satisfied with my lot and that's going to be a problem that I need to resolve and resolve quite fast.  Of course being on "holiday" is a different feeling but everyone (apart from one waitress in Milan) seemed to be genuinely helpful and happy - OK they were in a service business (the ones we met mainly) but even so, it just seemed that things got done, when they were going to get done and in many cases it just worked.

Road Trip

Saturday and we agreed to meet early.  Well I was up early and they reckoned they'd be a little while later - we needed to get the car away before 8 and be on our way to Milan.  We were on the motorway when my Nephew said there was a police car coming up really fast.  It turned out to be a  Lamborghini Gallardo - painted blue and with aerodynamic blue flashing lights.  Amazing - only in Italy eh.  We then found out it was driven around the circuit at Monza before Qualifying and the Grand Prix itself much to the amusement and cat calling of the Tifosi....

Here are some images from You Tube of the car.  

We got to our Hotel in Milan and dropped off our luggage.  They suggested it would be easier for us to drive to Monza than take the train.  We managed this with a few traffic jams, mainly caused by the locals arguing with the Police about where to park.  It was quite well organised and we got bussed into the circuit but still had long walks either side.  However, we were there to see the Porsche Super Cup qualifying followed by the GP qualifying and then there were a series of races.  Lots of people left the circuit after quali and so we had a good run of the place and got to see about 3/4s of the circuit trying to work out the best place to view the race.  

We managed to get really close and saw some stunning driving.  We got back quite late and then went out into Milan for the evening we started by tram and got some of the way but invested in a Taxi to take us further in to Moscova area of Milan which was amazingly lively.  We managed to sit down at a Pizzeria at 10:15 so we again got back at about 2am.  We needed to leave early the next day and check out.  We kind of managed to do that and had breakfast (which was included) and again left our luggage there.  We arrived some 25 minutes later nearer the circuit and were able to park close to the bus and so by about 9:45 we were arriving inside the circuit, this time having bought our water supplies outside of the circuit saving 2 Euro a bottle!

Well, the whole experience was I can safely say awesome and a little emotional.  I got quite choked up when we invaded the track at the end of the race - the only race in the calendar where this is allowed - it was something quite strange a feeling quite unlike anything I've had before.  Perhaps it was the bit I'd dreamed about doing for a long time.  I've promised myself to go to a GP for years and years and this time finally made the decision to do it where I've procrastinated before. 

The ear splitting noises of the races and the passion of the fans, the whole experience and the warmth of an early autumn Grand Prix race where you are so close to the action all wove their magic.  We stayed behind after the ceremony for the winners and then looked at the old banked track.  Many people had made their way home already and we stopped off and had some more water and also had some beers sat watching the people stream away home.  The car was almost on its own when we returned and we drove back to the Hotel, collected our stuff and were then a little surprised to find that our Hotel that we felt was a lot nearer the centre of Milan turned out to be a few minutes from the Hotel we were in :-)  The nice thing was it was a Raddison and so we had great rooms and showered and changed and went into Milan after a few beers in the bar.  We went to a great Restaurant which I have no idea where it was but we asked the waiter to recommend the dishes for us.  It was great sitting outside, trams going past and lots of people drinking in a large square nearby.  Guess what?  The meal for the three of us came to 150 Euros yet again (coincidence??).  We gave a good tip to the waiter as the choices were inspired and very nice.  

We wandered across the road and had a beer and got home about 1am this time.  Interestingly on the way back to the Hotel there was a massive party going on.  It was the Red Bull party and unbeknown to me, the boys about turned and went back to see what was going on.  Apparently it was a 3000 Euro entrance but they managed to blag their way in via a side door and one of the bouncers for a lot less than that.  Apparently it was very expensive but the ticket they got gave them a free drink.  We were due to meet at 10 the next morning so we could get on to Verona before heading home.  At 10:10 I phoned them and they finally got out around 10:30...

Some Sunday and considering that we had been going for 4 days with perhaps 6 hours sleep a day we weren't doing too bad.

Day 2 Bologna and Mugello

Day 2 kicked off with a good breakfast - as would become customary, we would set a time for us to meet.  I would be there on time and the lads would arrive when they felt like some time later :-)  It's at times like this I realise quite how organised I can be.

My Hotel room was up in the roof which was quaint and nice but a little warm - so I requested that the A/C be turned down a bit for me, which it was the next day - the trouble with rooms these days is that the A/C doesn't kick in until you put your card key in the receptacle.  So as I was in the roof under the terracotta roof tiles the room was like a little oven.  

So they sorted that out for me nicely and it was much better that night. 

We decided to have a good walk about Bolgona, it is a lovely University town, lots of young people and few tourists.  It had to be around about 35 C and we stopped a number of times to pick up water, stop for coffee etc.  We decided that we would try and find a restaurant that G the photographer had been to many years ago and he called his friend and we found the place and booked for the evening.  It was only a few hundred yards from where we had been the night before.  He only did evenings and actually recommended the restaurant we were at the previous night for lunch - which we missed out on as we could hardly walk after all the food of the night before.  We instead booked a table for 9 pm and went to another nice local restaurant for some real Italian beer and we chose three different pasta dishes and shared them out - bread, Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar and an air conditioned restaurant full of Italians - perfecto.

We decided that we would drive out of the area up into the hills to see the sun come down over the mountains and to cool down a bit.  It was a nice enough drive and we got to a high pass and then decided that it would be cool to just go to Mugello as it was quite near.  

 So we headed off around the mountain passes and along the autostrada and got to just outside Mugello where my Nephew detoured to a huge reservoir that he had discovered last time when he took a wrong turn!  Serendipity indeed.  we stopped for a beer and hung out in this shady terrace.   The abundance of scantily clad bronzed young model like ladies had nothing to do with us staying here for quite a while :-)

With the sun beginning to disappear we headed for Mugello and found that we could drive right into the place.  There had been some sort of track day and there were Porche and touring cars dotted around making loud noises.  However, the lads had spotted a Go-Kart track at the far end and headed there.

 For the princely sum of 15 Euro they got to go out on the Go-Karts.  Unlike Politicly Correct, Health and Safety Concious UK where it would have cost you £50 and you would have been in a series of breifings, fire proofed clothes, gloves etc.  The lads walked out with crash helmets, no briefing, into the Karts, in their shorts and T-Shirts and off they went.  Only in Italy :-)

The lads in hot pursuit in some extremely fast Go-Karts.

We then headed back to Bologna and managed - after a while - to park up.  Friday night in Bologna - what can I say, by the time we got there - about 8:30 it was heaving with students getting somewhat plastered.  We got to the Hotel and rang the restaurant to say that we would be late.  The da Fabio is without doubt one of the nicest eating experiences I have ever had.  The food was brilliant they just gave us whatever was fresh from the market to start, great pasta, beer, wine, proseco and the main courses were amazing, T-Bone steak and I had Fillet Steak

in Onion and Balsamic sauce - oh my - it was just incredible...

However, the best was yet to come - for those of you who are pudding / desert fans:

This my friends is what was set before us.  In the foreground and most importantly is freshly made Gelato (Ice Cream) still stuck to the blades of the machine, in a chilled bowl.  There is Creme Caramel, Chocolate Cake and a Merringue Cake.  In the blue bowl are Black Cherries steeped in Cherry Juice.  There was some other stuff too :-)  This was served with a desert wine in chilled glasses.

After this we had coffee and Limoncello.  this time a tray of deep frozen glasses was presented to us and the bottle must have come straight from the freezer.  Oh my - we thought we had eaten well the night before but this time we surpassed ourselves and we had a good slow walk back to the Hotel.  Now call it strange or suspicious or whatever but once again the meal for 3 of us came to 150 Euro.  Perhaps they have an upper limit?  Whatever, it was a great evening once again and we got back to the Hotel at - goodness me 2 am once again!!!  this was getting to be a habit.

The city was still going strong and the discos and clubs were still happily serving drinks - the place just rocks.  I feel the need to go back there again :-)

If I thought day 1 and 2 were good then the next 3 days were even better......  More later

A Better Place?

I really needed that break.  It was pretty much full on in terms of experiences and I'm glad I went and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  Five days in Italy are always going to be memorable I'd say given the places I've now been to there, it is a lovely place to visit and the people are friendly and the whole experience is quite laid back - well - apart from driving in some of the cities.

So the weekend started early on Thursday morning when I was picked up and we drove to Gatwick airport which took about 40 minutes, dropped the hire car off and then made our way via the little train to the North Terminal and booked in.  As my Nephew holds a Frequent Traveller card and can take one guest in, we checked in at First Class (no queues), went via private security to the executive lounge where we had coffee and breakfast.  You could have had a beer too but at 8 am that was stretching it a bit too far.  We flew to Bologna and were boarded first and had our baggage tagged priority (didn't make much difference at Bolgna).  It was as clear as you like and you could see miles from the plane.  It was perhaps the clearest I've ever seen it as there was no haze at all.  We flew over the Alps and in to Bologna airport.  It was a pretty interesting little airport and we then went to the Hire Desk - this is when it got really interesting.  It took us close to an hour to get the car!  There were lots of desks but everyone appeared to have booked with the same one that was dealing with ours.  When we got near it did say that privilege holders could go straight to the front of the queue.  I suppose we could have but we may have gotten lynched.  

Putting that behind us, we were upgraded to a VW Passat Estate car which was good.  It was quite new but as with all Hire Cars it was slightly battered around the periphery.  I think every panel was dented so it meant returning it would be OK as it already had seen some close Italian driving action :-)

We headed into Bologna and stopped off to grab something to eat.  We were late so many places had closed for the afternoon but we found a small cafe and grabbed a wrap and a coffee (you have to love their coffee).  We then headed out from there to Maranello, the home of Ferrari.  We looked at the factory and the test track (from the outside) and toured the shop and had a look at the outside of the museum.  We grabbed our first beer of the day and then headed back, via some other obscure factory, to the airport where we were to pick up our colleague who was on assignment photographing of all things the new Ferrari.  He does this for a living and flies around the world photographing the world's top cars in fabulous locations!

He called to say he was running late so we went into town and grabbed a Gelato and wandered around the river bank for half an hour.  We got back, picked him up and his amazing European Sat Nav (which we would have been lost without) which took us via a series of almost impossibly narrowing alleys into the very heart of Bologna.  Amazingly we managed to get parked and got ourselves ready to go out and hit the streets.  We made our way to Drogheria Della Rosa, recommended by a friend and there had the most amazing meal.  4 or 5 courses (I lost count) and beers, water, wine, Limoncello and a chat with the chef and more beers which was great of course.  We dreaded seeing what the bill might be but it was 150 Euros for the 3 of us.  That's pretty amazing I have to say.  We wandered back to the Hotel via a few night spots selling beer and got in around 2am.  

That's the first day out of the way then!  Well not quite as we spoke to the Night Porter and he gave us the heads up on parking and so for a small fee we were able to pick up a 24 hour tourists pass for a few Euro and that meant we would be able to park the car up until departure time on Saturday.

Day 2 was to be even more eventful than day 1 - see next blog post.....

Lost for words

I think that "Awesome" actually can be used in terms of the weekend and the whole experience at Monza.   More will follow but let's just say that it was the most amazing experience, fantastic and just amazing.  The traditional track invasion was a very strange place to be, it was very emotional - I have no idea why - some sort of mass shared experience maybe?  Whatever it was, I have eaten too much, imbibed too many beers, proseccos, Valpolicellas, Limoncellos etc than can be good for me.  It was so hot that we were additionally drinking 6 or 7 bottles of water a day too.

Just stunning.  More later when I catch up on my sleep etc.

It's an important day today, not just as the Anniversary of 9/11 but also as it is Steve Kelley's Judgement Day Cystoscopy and so good wishes, vibrations and prayers etc going across the Atlantic for the right results again.....  

Looks like it will be blisteringly hot

The weather forecast shows 27 to 30 Degrees at the circuit on Saturday and Sunday so I went and bought some factor 50 sun block.  I should have got a mortgage out on that - blimey it was expensive £16 for goodness sake.  Mind you better that than whinging about being sun burnt.  I have taken a hat but will probably buy one when I am there.  Had my mum nag me this morning about that.  I had to remind her that I was 55 and I did realise and that's why I was buying some block and had packed my hat - Tssskkk!  :-)

So there we go, I'm almost fully packed but have to remember to put the liquid (sun block) in my luggage not in my hand luggage.  As I said to a security guard (where do they get these people from with no sense of humour - or is it sucked out through their Temple when they join?) "Don't you feel that with all these checks, liquids, take your shoes off, you belt, your jacket etc that the Terrorists have actually won?"  We spend 2 hours these days to get on a flight!  What the hell is that about?  Anyway, I must remember to put the liquids in the other case and then transfer them to the bag I'll use for the race!  Doh.  I've split up the main tickets and the spares, the ear plugs and the rain ponchos too.

Almost packed now and just about everything covered.  off to the Jazz tonight and then away at 6 tomorrow morning.  I'll blog again when I get back...

Getting near now

I have to say I'm pretty excited about going to Monza for the Grand Prix.  The weather is meant to be very good but in case it isn't I bought some emergency Poncho rain mac things to go in my bag.  It certainly looks as if they aren't needed but you never know.

Flying out Thursday morning and should get to Bologna about midday - in time to chill down with a view beers and take in the views.  Heading off to Milan on Saturday for Practice and Qualifying and then the race itself on Sunday.

Hopefully Mrs. F. and the tribe will do some more work on the bathroom whilst I'm gone :-) well I can but hope.  If they do the grouting it will be a good move, not that I mind doing it but it will just save me a job and I can finish off with the shower screen and riser pole and sealing the bath and shower areas.

My brother in law is over tomorrow so I hope he can finalise the bits of the bathroom for us.  I'll be off out to the jazz night and then will need to be up early for the off to the airport.  My Nephew has access to the executive lounge so breakfast will be on him and we are already checked in etc.  The wonders of the internet.

Yes - I'm certainly looking forward to experiencing modern Formula 1 up close and personal, I doubt I'll see much and will probably be deaf for days afterwards but it should satisfy my curiosity especially as it is so many years since I last went.  things have changed quite a bit since then!

Best off to bed now and get myself sorted tomorrow and packed.  Most things are ready to go I just need my check list and that should be it.  Will have to blog on my return.

Cracking on with the tiling

Blimey these big tiles are both good and bad at the same time - they go up remarkably quickly but I seem to be getting through tile cement like nobodies business!  Mrs. F. has just gone down to the shops to pick some more tile adhesive up and a few other bits too.  It's coming along fine and should be finished around the shower and bath area today.  Brother in Law returns tomorrow to do some finishing off and then there'll be one more wall to tile to complete plus I will need to install a window sill at some point in time.  

I'm away on Thursday and so I'm hoping that some of the grouting can be done whilst I am away and I can install the bath screen on my return.

It is actually looking like a bathroom now, the floor grouting looks good and I've managed to do the grouting without staining anything much but my hands so that's good too.  All in all it's looking 100% better than this time last week.

Done indeed

Amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.  I got the walls sealed ready for tiling.  Then got the tiles ready for grouting and then did the grouting and I've just done the final light sponging over the floor ready for polishing the tiles a little later.  

The sealed walls have dried so they are ready for tiling which is great.  Perhaps I can achieve that tomorrow and that will mean that it will just need grouting and then sealing between tiles and bath and I can get the shower sorted out with its glass panel and chrome riser pole. 

My Brother in Law needs to come and finish off which will be great and with a few finishing touches the whole thing might be done by the weekend.  Of course, I'm away for a few days but perhaps my brother in law can finish off some bits whilst I am away?

We are almost there it is tantalisingly close but still a few more days until it will be sufficiently watertight and complete enough to use.  Mind you it really is starting to look the business now and when the tiles go on tomorrow we will be able to visualise what we want in terms of finishings and fittings.  

Cool :-)

Things will be what they will be

And that's today's lesson - things are going OK in the bathroom and all is well.  I'm working my way through the jobs and getting the typical interruptions, especially Government departments who have managed, once again, to lose my paperwork so I have to get copies and resend them.  I wouldn't mind but they took 6 months to process the paperwork and gave me 6 days to return the documents they want.  As luck had it we were here but if we had been away?  Bunch of clowns these people, they can't move their arses but want you to.  Now they can't find the stuff that was sent and want it again in 6 days.  

I have written one of my letters about it and have resent the stuff again turning it around in one day not 6 months like themselves.  Useless bunch of jobsworths.

So things will be what they will be.  Out for a beer later with Flocky to chew the cud will be nice.  Back to work, who knows I might get something done :-) 

Stress and Pressure

What stress and pressure?  Exactly.  I have no idea why I am pressuring myself about finishing off my bathroom.  It will take as long as it will take and I there's no use in rushing it.  Luckily everything is complete but there are a series of finishing touches needed by my brother-in-law.  He may do that on Monday afternoon - which is preferable as on Tuesday I was hoping to do the tiling for the shower.  That would allow me to get most of the work done by the time I go away but realistically it isn't going to happen.

Having now recognised this - I intend to take my time and get it right rather than forcing the pace and messing it up.  

Want some inspiration?

If that's what you need look no further than the greatest show on earth - the London 2012 Paralympics.  Shame that our American cousins are only going to get 6 hours from NBC some time after the event.  We have the full 11 days on 4 channels and it is just amazing.  Mrs. F. and L and her boyfriend have returned from seeing the Athletics and Swimming.  There must have been 20 World records gone today and double that in games records and personal bests.  It was a day when one chap ran in 7 minutes after the 7th place man but he got a standing ovation for all of those 7 minutes.  That's what has made me take notice of these games. 

I'm delighted that we have come out in force to support these games - it is a testimony to the sort of nation we are.  These games are going to change attitudes and to inspire many people. With wall to wall coverage we get to see so many heroic and super human efforts that it just humbles you.  Some of these athletes are winning medals close to what their Olympian cousins can achieve.  What a wonderful legacy we have given the world since these parallel Olympics were started in 1948.  It changes perceptions and stops us thinking of disabled people in a way that separates them from society. What a shame that other countries are not taking more than a few highlights.  There are also at least 60 less countries than in the Olympics.   

We Brits are generally a nation who see fair play and taking part is as important as winning.  Fair play is important as is doing your best.  You can ask no more than an athlete produces a personal best on the day - that after all is what this is about.  It's humbling to see these athletes overcoming odds that able bodied people cannot really understand.  There were athletes with no arms swimming away - goodness I'd be worried about drowning not being able to hold on to anything.  I understand all but 70,000 of the seats are sold, every session appears to be packed out and whilst I didn't go today I followed it on TV and on line.   Not absolutely certain I'd have survived the tube journey but everyone enjoyed it.

The bathroom is pretty much done.  Everything works (after a fashion) and I perhaps should have left the cistern to the expert as it looked a bit strange as it was filling and then realised that the filler wasn't installed properly.  Trust me to mess that up!

Everything is working and the bath is usable - which is great but final finishing off needs to happen so that the basin worktop is waterproofed and that the WC is bedded down properly.  These modern bathrooms look great but are practically rubbish I'm afraid.  I can see this lasting no more than 15 to 20 years not the 30 or so I reckon it should.  However, it may not be my problem next time.  The main thing is that it nears completion and it is ready to tile so I may be able to do that on Tuesday before I go away to Monza on Thursday.  Let's hope so.

Monza sorted

The final piece is in place and so we will be flying out on Thursday and I am really looking forward to it now.  Today was another mini milestone on the way and a barrier to get past.  Tomorrow is to get the bathroom finally all connected and tested.  That leaves me some small work to complete but that's OK.  

Monza is a bit of a reward and also it puts down a marker for me.  I'm still trying to work out what I want to be doing in the future and I'm hopeful that these diversions may help me work out a strategy for the future.  There are so many things going around my head and trying to analyse and work on them really is "doing my head in" and that's the trouble as I need to "Elephant Eat" the problem and I need to set myself some parameters to work within.   For example:

1. I don't want to work in the city any more
2. I don't want to travel long distances on a daily basis but might be happy to work away
3. I don't want a 9 - 5 job with no flexibility
4. I must not undersell my skills and experience

These are just some basic rules that set out employment but these aren't all.  There are rules of where to live, how to live, what I want to do and so on.  

Monza will remind me what it is like to do something that I want to do.  I'm going with my Nephew and his friend, no immediate family and it will be a break that will set a marker as it will be one of the first times I've done something like this for myself.  I had planned it when I got past 5 years but never really did anything about it.  I've then looked to take a holiday and take my mum away for a week just to give her the opportunity to do the same and take a break.  I've been a bit naughty in that I've made it occur when it would be my dad's birthday.  Specifically this means that she can't go to the Crematorium (which she assures me she wouldn't want to) and also it means that my brother wont make her go with him.  I see no reason that you would want to do this.  But the other thing is to give mum a break as she's had a number of years of looking after dad and not really getting a break.  A and I took her and dad out one day a few years back but that all revolved around him as he couldn't walk far and it was pretty obvious in hindsight that he was ill way back then.

Anyway - it was a hugely important day today.  It means that they can't see any cancer in my Torso which re-assures me that I can remove that concern from my mind.  It's time to move on, it's time to make some decisions and I feel that now might be the time to start turning things around.

Well that's OK then

Yes indeed, the CT scan was clear, the Cytology was clear and the Scope was clear, come back in 6 months.  It was very quick and easy as usual.   They used a new local which actually seems to be fine - they said it stung less which I suppose it did.  It certainly is better now it is wearing off.

The only downside on the whole thing was that there was a mix up with my paperwork which had arrived at another location in the Hospital.  So I was seen, eventually, about an hour late.  However, that's not a problem as it is good news.

In fact it may have helped as I took my Ibuprofen and Paracetamol up to 30 minutes before I actually got seen which probably helped the after affects of which I have a small stinging sensation but have been able to go to the toilet without any discomfort and that's great.

I am just going to take it easy now and sit down for the remainder of the day.  I've bought some beers in celebration which I will have later.

Lovely to get good wishes from all over the world and positive thoughts and prayers.  They were much appreciated and of course seem to be working nicely.

It is funny, it is a relief because I never let myself now think about the negative.  I used to go with a view that the result would be negative so that I could bolster myself up and make it a positive thing.  It's nice to turn up in a positive frame of mind for once.  I managed my breathing very well and I wore my "I'm Not Dead Yet!" Tee Shirt - made one of the old ladies in the waiting room chuckle so that was OK.  I was also stuck into my MP3 player (thank goodness for those) and was zoned out nicely today.

Not long to go now

Cysto in the morning - all cleaned up nicely with a shower at the mother-in-law's house.  Just hydrating so ensuring that I can give a pee sample in the morning and that I can keep going to the loo.  It sort of helps if you pass water a lot after the procedure.  I have everything lined up to go and so just need to go get some sleep.

More tomorrow no doubt.

Interesting call with mum

Had a long chat today about dad and it was quite enlightening "talking about dad" you see I found a photo which is here by my desk and whilst I occasionally get brought up short by it, the majority of times I look at it and smile.  You see he was a a nice guy and he and mum were very close and that's great.  It may not be my ideal of a relationship, I didn't know him at all well after they moved away and so that also meant that the time I had with him was very good.

Because of that, it's OK to be happy that he is no longer so ill as he was, that he is at peace and that he is troubled no more.  We spoke about how "bad" things were over the 11 months he was ill.  Whilst this is true, it isn't anything we could have changed, it wasn't in our power.  Mum thought dad didn't know how ill he was.  That's interesting as I reckon if you'd have been told it was terminal you'd have a bit of a clue.  I did however concur that I never really took it quite as seriously as perhaps I might.  By that I mean I had a life threatening, seriously nasty disease that did affect me a lot more than I thought but I never really realised that.

Anyway, it was nice to have a long chat and also discuss the possibility of going away for a week taking mum with us.  Hope that I can arrange that a little later this coming month.

Now to get ready for my cysto tomorrow morning.  I am going to just sit on my backside when I get back from that.

Oh well up and down day

Bad news is that brother in law's day got worse with fixing some of the stuff in the bathroom he arrived very late and was just having an "off day" - we all have those I assured him - somehow he feels he has let us down and I wasn't expecting him to help at all - the amazing thing is that without him I'd have struggled with the washbasin and the bath.  I think tomorrow (well later today) will see it finished from his side.  I will do the finishing off bits.

The good news is that Monza is now all planned and booked so I'm pleased with that.  We have flights, hotels, cars, tickets, ear-plugs and everything else sorted (I think).

Also have followed up on my suggestion to get mum away for a week or so.  We have ascertained that she doesn't want to go abroad so that's settled so we will try and work out a trip to Northumberland and that area and perhaps Edinburgh whilst we are there.  That would be nice as none of us have been there (apart from me on business which doesn't count).

I need to ready myself for Friday morning and so may have to get over to the in-laws for a shower tomorrow evening - I'd have preferred first thing Friday but I'm due to the Hospital at 9 so would be knocking on their door at 7.  I'll just have to make the best of it.  I also need to make sure I'm nicely hydrated tomorrow too that will help with the recovery on Friday.  I've got my pills ready and need to sort a few bits out so that I take the minimum I need in with me.  I always tend to take a bit too much but there you go.  Maybe take a folded plastic bag this time for my clothes!  It's a bit strange I'm not looking forward to that but it is normally all done and dusted pretty quickly and I tend to get seen on time and so I'll make sure I'm there on the dot and I'll recover by doing nothing when I get home.

Not a great day

A bit of a flat one as the brother-in-law got most of the way here only to realise that he had left most of his equipment back home and had to turn around and go back and get it.  So it's now getting towards 3 pm and the only work done is the work I've done on the tiling and getting the cistern ready to be installed!  I've left it ready to be completed but of course, without him here, I haven't actually done the last little bits of work.  Hopefully when (if) he gets here we can give it a stab and get the work done but I'm not sure it will be worth his while coming over here this late - unless he works late I suppose!

I'm certainly in two minds about whether to proceed or not but will await his arrival - that way I wont do anything wrong (I hope).

I'm beginning to get around to thinking about Friday and getting my Cystoscopy sorted out.  It will be good to get this done and to hear about the CT Scan results too.  I'm sure that they would have called me in if there was anything concerning or major.  Let's also hope there's nothing minor there either :-)

This time next week I'll be preparing to go to Monza - looking forward to a good few days entertainment.

Only been a week

Since the plasterer arrived and only 4 days since he left so I'm perhaps getting a little too impatient about things :-)  Mind you, the bathroom is almost there now, another day or two and it will be serviceable at least.  It may not be completely finished but it will be usable with care.

As soon as I can tile the walls and get those sorted out the better it will be as once that is done I can install the shower kit and the screen and we can really get the bathroom fully functional.

You forget how much you rely on areas like this.  It still doesn't help that I'm not in the best of places in terms of what I want to do with myself in the future.  In fact, that thought process needs to be re-started after the bulk of this bathroom is done.  I have to say that I don't think I'll be going back into the construction business any time soon though - this has been hard work - not that I mind that - it just reminds me why I got out of the business in the first place.  Mind you I've probably lost a stone in the last one and a half weeks through all the exercise and not eating much either!