In Pursuit Of Happiness

The American Dream and nothing wrong in that is there?  For years I've been trying to work out what my brush with cancer meant - what was its purpose :-) if that isn't too way out an idea.  

It dawns on me that I've been trying to make surviving worth it but inevitably, being the only "victim" maybe I am the only one who has this knowledge (if that's what it is).  I tried to make the difference in both the charity and my last venture.  There was achievement and pride in what I had done but no deep down satisfaction, nothing that worked at the core that satisfied mind and body.  

The idea of the American Dream is rooted in the United States Declaration of Independence which proclaims that "all men are created equal" and that they are "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights" including "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

I wonder if I have been trying too hard to change not just me but all those around me.  They have no reason to change, no reason at all.  Hard as it seems I may just have to go and please myself and pursue my own dreams.  I think too much maybe it is a case of letting go and letting life happen to me as it arrives, abandon myself to my feelings and not to my over analytical, planning and scheme making mind?  I have my health and so that's great and there's the world out there just waiting :-)  

Time for decisive decision making - or is it :-) I need to change approach maybe let go a bit drop the head and follow the heart?  Bit difficult for me being a control freak, project manager and analyst I know.