Well That Was Harder Work

Dammit, dammit, dammit, did I let go?  Almost, bloody well almost.  Habit of a lifetime difficult to break I suppose.  Kicking myself for only letting part of me go not all of me!  A bit annoyed that after all the work I'd done, all the preparation and I fell at the last bloody hurdle.  It wasn't all a disaster by any means, it moved things on for me but how annoyed am I that I knew what I was doing and didn't just didn't let go that last 10% - trying too hard perhaps?  

The upside is that the 90% was great and I'm feeling much better about the situation than I was. Stuff changing and I perhaps wanted too much too soon - after all I've got more than 40 perhaps 50 years of the old me to change.  It's Elephant eating - how do you eat an Elephant?  A bit at a time that's how.  I tried to eat the sodding zoo!  You can't break the habits of a lifetime and I tried and screwed that up.  Just need to approach it a bit better next time whenever that comes along.

Actually though feeling very good on the 90% and will just have to sort myself out for the 10%.  

But the questions as to whether I'm happy or not?  Yes I am, things moved on a great deal today and somehow the shift in emphasis has happened which is great but I probably do need Flocky to slap me around the face because whilst I didn't analyse things, I just couldn't let my emotions take over entirely - so I need that slap to get me out of the old me and into the new me :-)  

Has this changed my life forever?   Undoubtedly yes - I've just got to work really hard now to keep on making progress.