I had expected a letter to see a consultant, talk to them and then undergo the test(s). As it happens we got some good news (I thought) that the Urine test had blood in it! but there was no infection.
The letter from the Hospital told me to go to a day clinic for a Flexible Cystoscopy under local anaesthetic in a few days time - no consultation - nothing of the sort.
Frankly, I nearly passed out when I read it, got very upset as I do know what it is like to have local anaesthetic albeit some 30 or more years ago when I had a VERY bad experience with it.
My wife phoned up the Hospital and explained the issue but they were adamant that this was the way they do this - no general anaesthetic and we then tried to get me something to calm me down, like Valium but no one would make a decision.
I was annoyed because the Doctor has said one thing and there was I presented with something quite different. I had no real choice of course but my drinking and smoking went up and I met up with some Friends in the pub for a short session which made me feel a lot better.
The day before the investigation I finally got a call and I got some Valium. Thank the lord for that. I threw away the cigars, I had got to the point of acceptance. There is absolutely nothing you can do about this - you have to go and find out what is wrong with you.
The night before I got no sleep at all and then on the morning of the examination I had a tab but otherwise had calmed down a lot before that and probably didn't really need it.
Arriving at the day centre, I was one of the first to be examined and got into Hospital gowns. I met the Consultant and after a brief chat had the flexible cystoscopy. I'm not sure if I should say much about it here. However, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't look. The only discomfort was afterwards when the local began to wear off and all I wanted to do was go to the toilet - but that stung like hell. The trouble was it felt like you wanted to do that all the time.
After the examination the Consultant told me straight - You have Bladder Cancer and I can see a moderate size tumour but it is very messy in your bladder. So I think I looked at the floor and said "Oh" - I think I had guessed this. In fact I have a feeling I knew that I had something wrong with me even earlier in the year but perhaps that is just hindsight.
They got me into the Hospital for an operation 2 working days later. Who says the NHS cannot move when they have to?
So to end this bit of the blog. The Cystoscopy is an amazing bit of kit, I wouldn't say I'd want to do it every week but they diagnosed the Cancer and it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. The annoying thing was that we then discussed smoking habits. Being a child of the 60s I grew up with smoking as a way of life at home and at work, I used to work in an office where everyone smoked. As things went on and smoking became something anti social I backed off and slowly gave up cigarettes and then cigars and stopped altogether. The trouble is that the damage had been done ages ago. It is good that I have given up but how ironic that for the weeks between finding this and going to the test I smoked again after all this time.
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