I tend to not be taking notice of what my body tells me. For example on Friday it was the staff summer party. I wasn't particularly thrashing back beers etc which had run out anyway quite soon but we on to a pub and after an hour or so, I managed to fall off my stool. Now luckily it was a small table stool and also that most people could see that I hadn't exactly been drinking but it was a shock that I had lost my balance. In reality, I had been trying to let someone get their bag from under the table and the stool didn't slide but tipped. However, I could do absolutely nothing about it. I decided to go home after that anyway but it struck me that losing my balance like that was how all this began about 2 1/2 years ago now as I fell over in the street. Again, no real boozing involved but just lost my footing. I'm still not reading these obvious signs of tiredness and really need to be taking it far easier. I intend to take things differently on return from holiday.
I was tired when I got home and yesterday. I'm fine today but I do need to be on the watch out for this. I think I am back to normal and actually, I haven't accepted that I am not. In my heart of hearts I know damn well that I am not anywhere near back to normal and yet I outwardly act that way. I tend to throw up a protective barrier around me and act out how I am but in reality it isn't sustainable as I really don't have the energy to pull it off for a week at a time.
Anyway, holiday soon and at least I will get some rest and relaxation. I was speaking to the boss and told him that I thought I had slightly overdone it in the first 3 months of the job. I think perhaps I have.
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