It was a lovely evening but at the end I had one of my strange funny turns and felt ill, claustrophobic and all that boiling hot, nauseas bit. I stood outside and was OK in a few minutes but just felt awful for that short time.
They are my friends and were worried about me which is nice. I don't like it as it shows some of the damage that my cancer has done to me. This is all about self esteem, self confidence and belief in myself and that actor quality that has always covered my tracks for me, failing at the last hurdle.
Whether I wanted to show this side or not, it happened and I felt really ill for a short period of time. Nice to see everyone being concerned but I didn't want their evening to end that way let alone mine.
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