Maybe I cannot commit to working for someone longer than 18 months (perhaps I am self fulfilling my prophecy). I am SO ANGRY at the moment. I'm upset with the people at work who can't let go and have to keep poking their noses in. When I let them take over they hand it back to me in a worse condition than I gave it to them. Then there are all the stupid crass like things that people do and say and that just rattles me too. I know I should rise above it but this goes back to "no one died" statements.
People are so vacuous and full of sh1t sometimes and so goddamn petty.
I am however quite concerned that I am getting really angry at silly things and I actually find myself taking time away from work because they will make me explode if they carry this nonsense on any longer. Prime examples of sending me off doing work that it is blindingly obvious will not be acted upon and only paying lip service to the need to change and move the business forward. I find it quite amusing that I am the only person who calls the organisation autocratic. I wrote an article, that needs changing, they have the original file, how come they can't change it themselves. No they send an e-mail with the change required so that I can change it and send an email back to them attaching the file?
It's me isn't it - I'm wrong? Honestly though it just makes my blood boil that everything relies on one person to approve it, you get things to happen and they jeopardize it by taking it to committee - just like I knew they would and that they said they wouldn't.
Arggh :-)
So there you go, I'm pretty much p1ssed off with the whole world at the moment. everyone can go to hell for a while and somewhere I need to rearrange everything to get myself back to normal being able to deal with all the numpties around me. At present I am spiralling down into the depths of a black depression and the vortex is speeding up so that getting out is proving more difficult than normal. I can't say exactly what it is that set this off but I just find that everything at the moment is too difficult to deal with...
I think that I need work to realise that I am just about to go into switch off mode - my own protective mode - soon. That means, I just stop doing anything, come home and ignore everything for a while. It concerns me because I recognise these symptoms because of my particular personality type in quickly dismissing those who don't pull their weight or for whom I lose respect. If you lose my respect you really had better watch out as it takes a lot to rebuild it with me, it can be done.
This has all sharpened up since I got ill though.
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