I had to pick up some stuff for the Easter Egg hunt on Saturday and so had to contact Mrs. F. to go around and collect some bits plus my nice patent leather shoes (for my black tie outfit). We were civilised and spoke business like about things. She asked me whether I'd made up my mind what I'd decided to do? I haven't really but said I'd contact her after Easter and perhaps we could chat it over then.
I still feel quite stirred up about meeting her. It's terrible really we did have some good times but it is such a shame that we are where we are. It is disappointing really but there isn't much I can do about it . Whenever I feel bad I just have to cast my mind back and ask myself what it was like the past 10 years or so and then know that I've made the right decision. Of course there's always a seed of doubt. I cannot see that changing for a while because deep down inside I'd love for it to all be fixed and back to normal but it isn't going to happen. I hate the idea that she's hurting as much as I am but I think we are both in the acceptance stage at the moment.
Anyway - it's certainly shaken my day around a bit.
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