As we suspected, Mr. Fox (or Mrs. - I'm not sure) passed away overnight and I called the council this morning, bagged him or her up and it is now awaiting collection from outside the house. At least I don't have to bury it or take it to the woods for nature to dispose of. I feel a little sad that the RSPCA didn't want to intervene - they would probably have had to put the poor little creature down but at least it wouldn't have suffered. I dislike foxes (as one of my earlier blogs states) with avengance but it would have been humane for them to come out - they could easily have netted the poor thing.
Anyway, it's over now and I've got that sorted which will please Mrs. F and A - I always have to clear up anything that is dead including the Hamsters, Birds and whatever else may have come to grief in our garden.
Oh well, that done, I can get on with the rest of my day.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Poor Mr. Fox
We found a Fox in a pretty poorly state outside the kitchen door. We rang the RSPCA who told us to approach it with a broom and it sort of half struggled away to half way down the garden before collapsing in a heap its back legs not working too well at all and it did look pretty mangy :-( Apparently they could do nothing to ease the poor creature's pain unless it was still and easy to catch. Well it only has two legs working as far as I can see and hasn't moved much during the day. It's bitterly cold tonight and so I'll have to see what it is like in the morning. If I had (or was allowed) a gun I'd put the thing out of its misery. It's quite distressing as no one wants to know - and I thought that an association that was against cruelty to animals might be able to assist!
Oh well - I'll see tomorrow what is to be done about it, if the poor creature is still alive that is.
So - my back - still twinging and giving me jip. I will have to download that software that makes you take a break every 40 minutes. I've been stuck here thrashing away at the PC for hours and really should be taking time off and away.
I did manage to get juicing a lot today and found that raw beetroots are pretty potent. I did two in my first juice - mixed with carrot and a drop of ginger and lemon. It looked like Dracula ought to drink it :-) It was actually quite a difficult drink too as the power of the beets is something else so I know that I only need to use one of them - it's a bit like when I used too much ginger to start with last week! I am now hardly eating anything for lunch and didn't really want much for tea either. I think that I am training myself to eat smaller portions and I am filling up with juice and water during the day which is working. I was looking at some photos of myself a month ago and I've lost a fair amount of weight. Not only around my stomach but around my neck too. There's more to go of course but it is a pretty good start considering I've probably only been doing this for a few weeks.
I intend to continue this as long as possible so that I can get to a position to restart my exercise and try and get into some sort of routine (something my job never lets me do - I'm working now at gone 11 at night!).
Right I'd better crack on.
Oh well - I'll see tomorrow what is to be done about it, if the poor creature is still alive that is.
So - my back - still twinging and giving me jip. I will have to download that software that makes you take a break every 40 minutes. I've been stuck here thrashing away at the PC for hours and really should be taking time off and away.
I did manage to get juicing a lot today and found that raw beetroots are pretty potent. I did two in my first juice - mixed with carrot and a drop of ginger and lemon. It looked like Dracula ought to drink it :-) It was actually quite a difficult drink too as the power of the beets is something else so I know that I only need to use one of them - it's a bit like when I used too much ginger to start with last week! I am now hardly eating anything for lunch and didn't really want much for tea either. I think that I am training myself to eat smaller portions and I am filling up with juice and water during the day which is working. I was looking at some photos of myself a month ago and I've lost a fair amount of weight. Not only around my stomach but around my neck too. There's more to go of course but it is a pretty good start considering I've probably only been doing this for a few weeks.
I intend to continue this as long as possible so that I can get to a position to restart my exercise and try and get into some sort of routine (something my job never lets me do - I'm working now at gone 11 at night!).
Right I'd better crack on.
A visit to see my Dad
I hate to say it but it wasn't a great success overall in going to see my dad. By that I mean that there isn't a lot to say at the moment and there isn't anything revealing or earth shattering about his terminal disease and my visit. Strong words? Not really, just the fact that apart from dad looking older not much else changes, we do the pleasantries and we pass the time of day but things are mush as they ever were and we chat like families do, see how we are all getting along together and that's about it really. It's not what I thought it would be - not that I've really thought about what I thought it would be, I just thought it would be different.
I complained about my dad some 18 months ago as he was distracted by the TV during one of my visits and today the TV was on non stop from the moment we arrived until the moment we left. I'm guessing that 4 of us (not the normal 2) is difficult to deal with but in many ways it was pretty much an unusual situation for the whole of us to be together. I'm sure that the visit was appreciated and it is maybe just me not feeling great about it.
We've never been a family to do much more that have a chat, we aren't particularly cuddly or kissy - I've noticed that it's something we've never really done. So it's all a bit stilted and like some Jane Austen novel :-) No really it is quite an effort, we chit chat and do the formalities but essentially, that's where it stays, we discuss health and so on but invariably its the same old thing and I feel sometimes as if I am "doing my duty" rather than anything else.
In many ways, the problem I suppose is one surrounding how would you meet your end? I don't see my dad having a bucket list or anything like it, no ambitions, no regrets (I hope he doesn't have any - I hope not - but we wouldn't discuss that anyway). I think that he will continue to sit and watch TV, potter around the house and stay within the confines of the house and garden until time comes and takes its course. It isn't my life and it isn't my call. It is his life and his call and that's the be all and end all of it. My brother doesn't always get that and he probably never will, his own situation will not allow it.
Somehow, I've got to come to terms with it myself - you see I still feel a bit heartless and a bit uncaring and find that it isn't because I'm like that, it's just that it is the way it has always been. I've seen my parents more often in the last 6 months than I've seen them in the last 6 years. I find that I'm building up a bit of guilt, getting arranged to go and see them and then finding that it was a bit of a let down in a way. I hope they don't feel that but in a way what am I actually achieving? A bit of moral support for the folks which is fine. A bit of light relief for my mum, she needs it as he is very demanding (always was but is more so now).
Then I get home and I feel like sh1t too, there's nothing changing here no revelation no insight-fullness no completion no conclusion, no closure. That's the absurdity of the situation, I see someone who is heading for the conclusion of their life and that's it really - the outlook was for him to die around about now and yet he is far from that I think, he is doing OK, weak of course but steady at the moment with the palliative operation being successful, the diabetes under control and diet and everything else is now in balance and control. Freedom from the house has been removed by surrendering the car - and rightly so - there was no way that he could drive it and where would they go in it? He doesn't want to go anywhere - although we got him to the supermarket and back, that's it.
I pile the guilt on to myself and yet things are out of my control entirely. I thought today as we made our way up in the fog and mist towards my parents, a more out of the way place in the middle of nowhere at all you couldn't wish to find - if you were helplessly lost you'd never get as far away as this place. What on earth made them up sticks and be so far away and in such a miserable place (I suppose us city folk find the remote wilderness they call countryside in the damp, cold and fog could be called miserable!).
If there was an upside to this it was that we went to our favourite farm shop and we stocked a boot full of vegetables for just £13. I got a 15Kg bag of Carrots which should keep me in juice for a little while plus some raw beets (yes I know to watch out for those...) and loads of other stuff too. Looking forward to having a juicing fest this week.
I complained about my dad some 18 months ago as he was distracted by the TV during one of my visits and today the TV was on non stop from the moment we arrived until the moment we left. I'm guessing that 4 of us (not the normal 2) is difficult to deal with but in many ways it was pretty much an unusual situation for the whole of us to be together. I'm sure that the visit was appreciated and it is maybe just me not feeling great about it.
We've never been a family to do much more that have a chat, we aren't particularly cuddly or kissy - I've noticed that it's something we've never really done. So it's all a bit stilted and like some Jane Austen novel :-) No really it is quite an effort, we chit chat and do the formalities but essentially, that's where it stays, we discuss health and so on but invariably its the same old thing and I feel sometimes as if I am "doing my duty" rather than anything else.
In many ways, the problem I suppose is one surrounding how would you meet your end? I don't see my dad having a bucket list or anything like it, no ambitions, no regrets (I hope he doesn't have any - I hope not - but we wouldn't discuss that anyway). I think that he will continue to sit and watch TV, potter around the house and stay within the confines of the house and garden until time comes and takes its course. It isn't my life and it isn't my call. It is his life and his call and that's the be all and end all of it. My brother doesn't always get that and he probably never will, his own situation will not allow it.
Somehow, I've got to come to terms with it myself - you see I still feel a bit heartless and a bit uncaring and find that it isn't because I'm like that, it's just that it is the way it has always been. I've seen my parents more often in the last 6 months than I've seen them in the last 6 years. I find that I'm building up a bit of guilt, getting arranged to go and see them and then finding that it was a bit of a let down in a way. I hope they don't feel that but in a way what am I actually achieving? A bit of moral support for the folks which is fine. A bit of light relief for my mum, she needs it as he is very demanding (always was but is more so now).
Then I get home and I feel like sh1t too, there's nothing changing here no revelation no insight-fullness no completion no conclusion, no closure. That's the absurdity of the situation, I see someone who is heading for the conclusion of their life and that's it really - the outlook was for him to die around about now and yet he is far from that I think, he is doing OK, weak of course but steady at the moment with the palliative operation being successful, the diabetes under control and diet and everything else is now in balance and control. Freedom from the house has been removed by surrendering the car - and rightly so - there was no way that he could drive it and where would they go in it? He doesn't want to go anywhere - although we got him to the supermarket and back, that's it.
I pile the guilt on to myself and yet things are out of my control entirely. I thought today as we made our way up in the fog and mist towards my parents, a more out of the way place in the middle of nowhere at all you couldn't wish to find - if you were helplessly lost you'd never get as far away as this place. What on earth made them up sticks and be so far away and in such a miserable place (I suppose us city folk find the remote wilderness they call countryside in the damp, cold and fog could be called miserable!).
If there was an upside to this it was that we went to our favourite farm shop and we stocked a boot full of vegetables for just £13. I got a 15Kg bag of Carrots which should keep me in juice for a little while plus some raw beets (yes I know to watch out for those...) and loads of other stuff too. Looking forward to having a juicing fest this week.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Hell of a week
I was in a furious mood on Tuesday, no particular reason as far as I can tell - I would have quite easily ripped your arm off and beat you with the wet end, quite easily in fact :-) It's been a full on heavy schedule and I've been the bottleneck in the process. That's been obvious and I have been struggling to keep up. To be honest there has been a lot of ground to cover and a lot of distractions - well meaning I'm sure - but distractions nonetheless.
I'm feeling well, I'm beginning to feel slimmer and fitter and a lot better than I have for ages and ages as the diet and the change in the way I consume food kicks in. Juicing is a bit of an "acquired taste" as sometimes it looks like I'm drinking a pint of mud :-) Generally it is the greens getting all mixed up with the base juice (I tend to favour carrot) and that's just the colour but it is also a strange taste - we are used to having our vegetables cooked and whole. When you juice them you separate the juice from the fibre and so you are getting a super hit of nutrients. You are also getting a massive amount into your body, far more than you would be able to actually eat. I was looking at the way I get through vegetables these days and it is surprising what juice you can get out of some items but I do tend to work my way through a lot of vegetables every day.
L is home from University and so we have decided to descend on my dad on Sunday and take the girls as we can drop L back at Cambridge on the way home. That will allow us to spend some time with dad and for the girls to see him as the last time he really wasn't with it and it was just after his operation and he wasn't in great shape. He is a lot better now so it will be a good time. Of course, it's one of those things as to whether this will be the last time they see him and so I'm concious of that too.
It's late - I've been watching a set of DVDs from my childhood - Robinson Crusoe - I haven't seen it since the late 1960s I would guess and it is quite moving in places, beautiful music and for its day a good piece of drama. It brought back old memories of sitting at home and waiting until the next episode to see what had happened. Good stuff but once started I couldn't stop watching it hence it is now gone 2 in the morning! Doh :-)
I'm feeling well, I'm beginning to feel slimmer and fitter and a lot better than I have for ages and ages as the diet and the change in the way I consume food kicks in. Juicing is a bit of an "acquired taste" as sometimes it looks like I'm drinking a pint of mud :-) Generally it is the greens getting all mixed up with the base juice (I tend to favour carrot) and that's just the colour but it is also a strange taste - we are used to having our vegetables cooked and whole. When you juice them you separate the juice from the fibre and so you are getting a super hit of nutrients. You are also getting a massive amount into your body, far more than you would be able to actually eat. I was looking at the way I get through vegetables these days and it is surprising what juice you can get out of some items but I do tend to work my way through a lot of vegetables every day.
L is home from University and so we have decided to descend on my dad on Sunday and take the girls as we can drop L back at Cambridge on the way home. That will allow us to spend some time with dad and for the girls to see him as the last time he really wasn't with it and it was just after his operation and he wasn't in great shape. He is a lot better now so it will be a good time. Of course, it's one of those things as to whether this will be the last time they see him and so I'm concious of that too.
It's late - I've been watching a set of DVDs from my childhood - Robinson Crusoe - I haven't seen it since the late 1960s I would guess and it is quite moving in places, beautiful music and for its day a good piece of drama. It brought back old memories of sitting at home and waiting until the next episode to see what had happened. Good stuff but once started I couldn't stop watching it hence it is now gone 2 in the morning! Doh :-)
Friday, January 27, 2012
So it is Diabetes
One of those things I suppose - my dad does have Diabetes and finally they have diagnosed and given him medication for it. Luckily he doesn't have to inject himself and is controlled by tablet. This is a move forward and one that I have to say is long overdue.
In a way, the Doctor was faced with asking dad the difficult question "How long have they given you?" which of course is answered with 6 months which is now! In reality he is a lot better than I thought he would be having seen a number of my friends die of Pancreatic Cancer Dad has remarkably had major surgery too and is still with us - good for him. My friends died in 2 weeks and 1 month (I think). It wasn't great.
As for me, well I'm getting on fine at the moment - a bit of a twinging back again - I'm not sure why that should be but there you go hopefully I can get rid of that overnight. Weight wise well - it is still dropping off me and feels better each day - it is a most unusual sensation but a welcome one in reality. I can feel my waist just being slimmer and my trousers being less tight and all of this is down to juicing and I haven't started exercising yet. The great thing is that I'm eating large quantities of vegetables so for example I had some low fat mushroom soup tonight but I added to it, bean sprouts, mushrooms and spinach. That made a big bowl full but of course there's hardly anything in it - it cheers up my soup and it fills me up too but keeps the calorie intake low. Juice comprises of a quart of vegetable (mainly) juice a day with about 2 quarts of water. I have my FOCC in the morning if before 8 am - if I am up later I miss it out and go straight for juice at 10:30. I have a meal of a cup-a-soup at lunch time with either tinned pilchards, sardines or mackerel or perhaps fish sticks, tuna, egg or low fat pate.
Onwards and upwards.
In a way, the Doctor was faced with asking dad the difficult question "How long have they given you?" which of course is answered with 6 months which is now! In reality he is a lot better than I thought he would be having seen a number of my friends die of Pancreatic Cancer Dad has remarkably had major surgery too and is still with us - good for him. My friends died in 2 weeks and 1 month (I think). It wasn't great.
As for me, well I'm getting on fine at the moment - a bit of a twinging back again - I'm not sure why that should be but there you go hopefully I can get rid of that overnight. Weight wise well - it is still dropping off me and feels better each day - it is a most unusual sensation but a welcome one in reality. I can feel my waist just being slimmer and my trousers being less tight and all of this is down to juicing and I haven't started exercising yet. The great thing is that I'm eating large quantities of vegetables so for example I had some low fat mushroom soup tonight but I added to it, bean sprouts, mushrooms and spinach. That made a big bowl full but of course there's hardly anything in it - it cheers up my soup and it fills me up too but keeps the calorie intake low. Juice comprises of a quart of vegetable (mainly) juice a day with about 2 quarts of water. I have my FOCC in the morning if before 8 am - if I am up later I miss it out and go straight for juice at 10:30. I have a meal of a cup-a-soup at lunch time with either tinned pilchards, sardines or mackerel or perhaps fish sticks, tuna, egg or low fat pate.
Onwards and upwards.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Dad's seems brighter
They suggested that it would take a while to get over his surgery and he is now a lot brighter and getting about a bit more although he needs to find out tomorrow if he is Diabetic which it looks as if he probably is.
Hopefully I'll go up and see him next week to see how he is and to get to see him before we go off to Italy on holiday. Hope that this time he is feeling a little better and that my car behaves itself. Last time it cost me a Hotel and a new set of bulbs for the car! Doh :-)
I'll take up my spare juicer so that mum can have that to use later on should dad need it.
Hopefully I'll go up and see him next week to see how he is and to get to see him before we go off to Italy on holiday. Hope that this time he is feeling a little better and that my car behaves itself. Last time it cost me a Hotel and a new set of bulbs for the car! Doh :-)
I'll take up my spare juicer so that mum can have that to use later on should dad need it.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Weight and Fitness
This is a strange thing, I am losing weight and beginning to feel a lot better in myself. I'm sure that the clear on Friday was a bigger barrier than I gave it credit for but also this regime of eating mainly vegetables in my diet seems to be paying off in a marked loosening of pressure on my waist which is great. I've lost the love handle bits on the sides and whilst I still have a "bit of a tummy" it isn't anywhere as bad as it was a month ago when I really noticed it. I think the juicing and drinking more water are having a good effect as is eating fish and also tending to have vegetable based soups and to bulk it up adding whatever vegetables I can find lying around that I haven't juiced!!! I can't believe how many vegetables I get through each day but I drink 2 pints of vegetable juice a day now and am beginning to get some tolerance with the green element in the juice mainly through getting the balance right and ensuring I get a good neutral juice in there first.
I'm pleased but need to ensure that I get some protein in too - hence the fish - I must get some eggs in there too if I can. The trouble I have is that I will run out of Veg tomorrow morning - perhaps I'll take the opportunity to wander down to the greengrocers and buy some of my own choosing? I'll see if I have time.
I'm pleased but need to ensure that I get some protein in too - hence the fish - I must get some eggs in there too if I can. The trouble I have is that I will run out of Veg tomorrow morning - perhaps I'll take the opportunity to wander down to the greengrocers and buy some of my own choosing? I'll see if I have time.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Better Outlook
There's some serious stuff coming along this year. Dad being uppermost on my mind and I suppose seeing if we are going to get investment in these difficult times is also a problem. I love the sideways look I get when the penny drops and people realise that I've put in close to 2 years unpaid into the business and of course still had to cover the household bills etc.
That's the eye opener and that's why I get annoyed with the smart arse one liners from people who don't know what it really takes to build a business. Somehow they don't think it through and realise the sheer volume of work you need to do to not only design the thing but make sure it will be bought (I mean does anyone actually want it). This time last year I was pulling together the survey we conducted and pulling some 150 questions answered by over 180 people into some sort of logical order. Then there's modelling the finances, working out the cost of all the services, the marketing, branding etc and suddenly there's 2 years of you life gone :-)
So in a way that will determine what will be or not be this year. Only a very small number of businesses get funding and so we are being, as we normally are, balanced and steady in our views and expectations.
However, knowing that these things are coming down the line is one thing and I've other news to share later on in February too which is again good news but it is all hush hush at the moment.
I am really looking forward to going to Italy now - it sounds just brilliant and we will get to see the wonders of three great cities (at least). It will also give us an idea about travelling by train in Europe which is something we have always fancied doing. It seems a little more civilised than the high pressure cigar tubes whistling around at 30,000 feet :-) I have to say that when I last flew internally I couldn't believe the amount of security that was imposed and you needed your passport - for goodness sake. Plus there was all the hanging around at the airport and waiting to get your baggage, then transferring into the city. Let's see if this city centre to city centre arrangement is any better?
So I started this with the words "better outlook" and things are better. I'm actually visibly losing weight on this juicing protocol I am on at the moment. I haven't quite gone to a full vegetarian diet but I have cut down on most things. My day looks like this now:
Breakfast: Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese diluted with a Drinking yoghurt (one of these "healthy" ones) added to a bowl of cut up dates, apricots, walnuts, raisins, figs, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds and possibly, hazel nuts cut up and flax seeds freshly ground. I'll probably have a coffee and a pint of water.
Midday: A pint of vegetable juice - generally based on carrot (occasionally a bit of apple), celery, cucumber, spinach, a twist of lemon, perhaps some cabbage, a tiny bit of root ginger, bean sprouts, turnip, asparagus, brussels sprout tops. Occasionally I'll have melon as the base of the drink. I will have this with another pint of water as it can be a bit difficult to drink without watering it down a bit.
Lunch: Tends to be soup, sardines, mackerel or pilchards, or fish sticks, low fat pate, cottage cheese or tuna. I may have some pickled onions or gherkins if things are a bit bland. After that I will probably have a low fat fruit yoghurt.
Mid afternoon is a repeat of the juicing regime a mixture of vegetables but trying to keep the green content to about a quarter (no more) as it really is quite strong.
Tea: Soup with some Ryvita or Rice Cakes, Tuna or fish, low fat cheese, fish sticks etc.
Occasionally I will cook myself some mushrooms and bean sprouts and left over vegetables and add these to my soup to make it a big meal but short on calories. If I do have anything afterwards it will be an Orange or perhaps as a treat a sorbet from frozen fruit run through the homogeniser feature on my juicer.
I've cut out bread - although I am a sucker at the weekend for a crusty bread roll. I may have a little cheese at the weekend and get some Stilton out of the Freezer - just enough for a couple of crackers worth.
Once a week we have a main meal with roast vegetables and potatoes - I have cut out potatoes except of the very occasional baked one with Tuna and Baked Beans or some low fat cheese. The meat tends to be Chicken, Beef or Gammon.
So there you go and I reckon I have to have lost 1/2 stone in the week and a half I've been doing this. The weight has fallen off of my stomach and the good old "love handles" seemed to go within days. This is great news, now all I need to do is continue to prepare and juice my vegetables the only thing is the vegetable consumption has trebled in the past few weeks!
My experiment to make Sauerkraut ended in failure today. I think I should have used white cabbage (with more moisture in it) than the Savoy I used. I went to taste it after 4 days and it tasted just like - well minced raw cabbage. I will certainly try again and see if I can get it to brew a bit. the nice thing about the recipe I have is that there is no salt required.
Anyway - my health is good (not yet great) my weight is beginning to change and the health benefits of juicing appear to be kicking in nicely, it will be good to get into shape first and then see about tackling other ailments using targeted juices and diet.
That's the eye opener and that's why I get annoyed with the smart arse one liners from people who don't know what it really takes to build a business. Somehow they don't think it through and realise the sheer volume of work you need to do to not only design the thing but make sure it will be bought (I mean does anyone actually want it). This time last year I was pulling together the survey we conducted and pulling some 150 questions answered by over 180 people into some sort of logical order. Then there's modelling the finances, working out the cost of all the services, the marketing, branding etc and suddenly there's 2 years of you life gone :-)
So in a way that will determine what will be or not be this year. Only a very small number of businesses get funding and so we are being, as we normally are, balanced and steady in our views and expectations.
However, knowing that these things are coming down the line is one thing and I've other news to share later on in February too which is again good news but it is all hush hush at the moment.
I am really looking forward to going to Italy now - it sounds just brilliant and we will get to see the wonders of three great cities (at least). It will also give us an idea about travelling by train in Europe which is something we have always fancied doing. It seems a little more civilised than the high pressure cigar tubes whistling around at 30,000 feet :-) I have to say that when I last flew internally I couldn't believe the amount of security that was imposed and you needed your passport - for goodness sake. Plus there was all the hanging around at the airport and waiting to get your baggage, then transferring into the city. Let's see if this city centre to city centre arrangement is any better?
So I started this with the words "better outlook" and things are better. I'm actually visibly losing weight on this juicing protocol I am on at the moment. I haven't quite gone to a full vegetarian diet but I have cut down on most things. My day looks like this now:
Breakfast: Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese diluted with a Drinking yoghurt (one of these "healthy" ones) added to a bowl of cut up dates, apricots, walnuts, raisins, figs, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds and possibly, hazel nuts cut up and flax seeds freshly ground. I'll probably have a coffee and a pint of water.
Midday: A pint of vegetable juice - generally based on carrot (occasionally a bit of apple), celery, cucumber, spinach, a twist of lemon, perhaps some cabbage, a tiny bit of root ginger, bean sprouts, turnip, asparagus, brussels sprout tops. Occasionally I'll have melon as the base of the drink. I will have this with another pint of water as it can be a bit difficult to drink without watering it down a bit.
Lunch: Tends to be soup, sardines, mackerel or pilchards, or fish sticks, low fat pate, cottage cheese or tuna. I may have some pickled onions or gherkins if things are a bit bland. After that I will probably have a low fat fruit yoghurt.
Mid afternoon is a repeat of the juicing regime a mixture of vegetables but trying to keep the green content to about a quarter (no more) as it really is quite strong.
Tea: Soup with some Ryvita or Rice Cakes, Tuna or fish, low fat cheese, fish sticks etc.
Occasionally I will cook myself some mushrooms and bean sprouts and left over vegetables and add these to my soup to make it a big meal but short on calories. If I do have anything afterwards it will be an Orange or perhaps as a treat a sorbet from frozen fruit run through the homogeniser feature on my juicer.
I've cut out bread - although I am a sucker at the weekend for a crusty bread roll. I may have a little cheese at the weekend and get some Stilton out of the Freezer - just enough for a couple of crackers worth.
Once a week we have a main meal with roast vegetables and potatoes - I have cut out potatoes except of the very occasional baked one with Tuna and Baked Beans or some low fat cheese. The meat tends to be Chicken, Beef or Gammon.
So there you go and I reckon I have to have lost 1/2 stone in the week and a half I've been doing this. The weight has fallen off of my stomach and the good old "love handles" seemed to go within days. This is great news, now all I need to do is continue to prepare and juice my vegetables the only thing is the vegetable consumption has trebled in the past few weeks!
My experiment to make Sauerkraut ended in failure today. I think I should have used white cabbage (with more moisture in it) than the Savoy I used. I went to taste it after 4 days and it tasted just like - well minced raw cabbage. I will certainly try again and see if I can get it to brew a bit. the nice thing about the recipe I have is that there is no salt required.
Anyway - my health is good (not yet great) my weight is beginning to change and the health benefits of juicing appear to be kicking in nicely, it will be good to get into shape first and then see about tackling other ailments using targeted juices and diet.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
5 Years
I suppose that 5 years is some sort of landmark and it is as if a cork has popped out of the bottle with the way I feel. By that I mean that I am of a much lighter disposition, I feel so much better, my body feels good and I am beginning to come out of a place I had hardly realised I was in. I thought I was OK but I'm lifted to another slightly higher level by this news and I am additionally feeling well both physically and mentally.
I know that I am now getting things together a bit better in terms of diet and looking after myself. I am beginning to believe that I may at last be seeing the back of this nightmare and so that in itself also bolsters my own self esteem and whilst it is too early to say goodbye to cancer, I can at least start to make it a lesser part of my daily life.
If there is anything to gain from this experience it is that you can stand up to cancer and with modern medicine, lifestyle change and a positive attitude you can get to a point where you can get some control back in your life.
I'll see how long it takes me to fall back to being glum - hopefully never!
I know that I am now getting things together a bit better in terms of diet and looking after myself. I am beginning to believe that I may at last be seeing the back of this nightmare and so that in itself also bolsters my own self esteem and whilst it is too early to say goodbye to cancer, I can at least start to make it a lesser part of my daily life.
If there is anything to gain from this experience it is that you can stand up to cancer and with modern medicine, lifestyle change and a positive attitude you can get to a point where you can get some control back in your life.
I'll see how long it takes me to fall back to being glum - hopefully never!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
That's not great
A distant relative's partner died suddenly a few months back - what awful news. Just as things were getting good, as they were planning to set up home and one day he went out for a bike ride and had a brain haemorrhage and died shortly afterwards.
It's a reminder that life is like that sometimes. There's me feeling great and there's someone else who has had a tragedy - it's life of course but should just bring me back to earth a bit.
Life goes on though and planning our trip to Italy is in full swing and Mrs. F. and I are busy looking at maps, guidebooks, train timetables and so on. We are really looking forward to seeing the great Tourist traps of Italy :-)
It's a reminder that life is like that sometimes. There's me feeling great and there's someone else who has had a tragedy - it's life of course but should just bring me back to earth a bit.
Life goes on though and planning our trip to Italy is in full swing and Mrs. F. and I are busy looking at maps, guidebooks, train timetables and so on. We are really looking forward to seeing the great Tourist traps of Italy :-)
Fun starts now
There is something quite invigorating about getting this all clear - suddenly and surprisingly I find myself lifted out of a rut and I'm positive and happy. Mrs. F. and I are planning our journey across Europe by rail and it is looking quite an adventure with some wonderful things to see along the way. The journey through the Alps into Italy from Switzerland looks to be beautiful and the opportunity to actually go between one city centre and the other without the need to get to an airport, hang around, do the big security thang and all that is quite compelling. I fancied trying the Orient Express but it costs as much for a one way ticket each as the whole holiday is costing for 10 days!
Anyway, back to planning and getting excited about it all, amongst other things.
Anyway, back to planning and getting excited about it all, amongst other things.
Surprising Reaction
Normally I'm pretty pleased that I get a clear but I also have a low reactor reaction and find the results somewhat of an anti climax. This time I am really pleased and excited about finding I was clear. Maybe I'd tuned my mind into it being like last time (what could be worse than finding it had recurred - only to find after being knocked out for the operation there was nothing there - a false positive)? Maybe it was because it is over 5 years now? Whatever it is, it is a great feeling, I'm really elated and excited.
That said, I should now turn this to my advantage and make even greater strides to improve my health and get my body protecting itself.
Here's to a different outlook and a positive look forward this morning - great - I'm in an amazing frame of mind which can only be a good thing, it really does feel this time as if a weight has been lifted.
That said, I should now turn this to my advantage and make even greater strides to improve my health and get my body protecting itself.
Here's to a different outlook and a positive look forward this morning - great - I'm in an amazing frame of mind which can only be a good thing, it really does feel this time as if a weight has been lifted.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Clear - Relief
Relieved to be clear - not impressed that Planned Procedures and Surgical Admissions are one and the same now - what a nightmare and packed out. Didn't wait too long was 15 minutes late and I saw my Consultant - amused the nurses with stress balls - which always makes for an amusing phrase as the cystoscope goes in, wiggle your toes (getting past the Prostate) and breathe properly - I'm a bugger for not breathing properly and of course "squeeze your balls" and that's when the fun starts.
Anyway - clear, clear yay clear - did I say clear? What a relief. So pleased and they are going to do a CT Scan - the first one I've ever had to make sure that things are OK elsewhere too. I've got to have some dye shoved into my veins but hey - sure I can cope with that these days - hated the X-Ray version they gave me, with a vengance but hope this CT scan thing isn't as involved as that.
So that's good - 6 months to next appointment and this makes it clear (even with the blip) for about 4 years I guess. I did have a very minor recurrence way back during BCG but post BCG have been clear all the way..... LONG may that continue.
Pretty "made up" at the moment I have to say - it's a great result but this time was a bit more of a sting - don't know why - so spending a little more time in a darkened room relaxing.
Anyway - clear, clear yay clear - did I say clear? What a relief. So pleased and they are going to do a CT Scan - the first one I've ever had to make sure that things are OK elsewhere too. I've got to have some dye shoved into my veins but hey - sure I can cope with that these days - hated the X-Ray version they gave me, with a vengance but hope this CT scan thing isn't as involved as that.
So that's good - 6 months to next appointment and this makes it clear (even with the blip) for about 4 years I guess. I did have a very minor recurrence way back during BCG but post BCG have been clear all the way..... LONG may that continue.
Pretty "made up" at the moment I have to say - it's a great result but this time was a bit more of a sting - don't know why - so spending a little more time in a darkened room relaxing.
30 minutes until I leave for the Hospital
I am just sitting at my desk, playing some quiet classical music before getting ready to wander up to the Hospital and get checked out. Like all these things it is attitude and almost "habit" now. I know where I am going, what is needed and as long as they are on time and I'm relaxed then it will be OK no matter what the outcome may be.
It will be what it will be and I hope that this time, they won't need to get me in for an aborted operation but if that is what is needed (and it was last time) then I suppose I will need to just bear with it and go through with that.
I'm in a neutral place, a little nervous I'll admit but this has to happen and I'll reward myself with the rest of the day off whatever the outcome.
It will be what it will be and I hope that this time, they won't need to get me in for an aborted operation but if that is what is needed (and it was last time) then I suppose I will need to just bear with it and go through with that.
I'm in a neutral place, a little nervous I'll admit but this has to happen and I'll reward myself with the rest of the day off whatever the outcome.
Judgement Day Again
In a little under 8 hours time I'll be having my flexible cystoscopy and we will see what 6 months have done to Mr. Bladder. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little tense and a little concerned, a little anxious. Of course I am but there's a good reason to also look forward to this (he said bravely) and that is, if there is any possibility of a recurrence they will spot it and we can do something about it. That is the bottom line, generally bladder cancer grows slowly and they can operate or we can redo treatment.
It is far better to know whether it is clear or not and so that really is the benefit of these tests, if it is good or bad news we can resolve it and plan away from there. I'd hate to be set free and somehow find that I'd got a recurrence and it was too late to do anything about it.
Oh well, here we go, fingers crossed. Everything is ready, dressing gown, music, water, tablets (paracetamol and ibuprofen) which I have just before the procedure and my stress balls are also to hand, very useful gadgets they are to stop me moving my hands and arms about (not that I think I would).
More tomorrow.
It is far better to know whether it is clear or not and so that really is the benefit of these tests, if it is good or bad news we can resolve it and plan away from there. I'd hate to be set free and somehow find that I'd got a recurrence and it was too late to do anything about it.
Oh well, here we go, fingers crossed. Everything is ready, dressing gown, music, water, tablets (paracetamol and ibuprofen) which I have just before the procedure and my stress balls are also to hand, very useful gadgets they are to stop me moving my hands and arms about (not that I think I would).
More tomorrow.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
No Sh1t Sherlock
So finally after - what - a month or more - yes dad does have Diabetes. Well I could have told you that. Sometimes we get the best and the worst of our National Health Service all in a short space of time. It's a good thing that we take responsibility for pushing this but really it should be "bleeding obvious" to health professionals and some how there is a huge chasm (black hole more like) between the Hospital and the local GP.
I guess that they tend to be reactive only in the GPs - yet if you'd have had the letters from the Hospital you'd have picked up the seriousness of his condition surely?
Oh well - at least we now have him under control, diagnosed and now it is just monitoring and controlling things and feeding him properly. At least my brother, sister-in-law and their kids can assist as both the kids have Diabetes and know the ins and outs of it all.
I ought to balance all this out by saying that in my case the greater part of the treatment, speed and people I've me has been positive with the occasional blip at the local level. Also the treatment and operation that was provided to my dad has probably meant that he is still with us today. I doubt he would have been if they hadn't done it.
I guess that they tend to be reactive only in the GPs - yet if you'd have had the letters from the Hospital you'd have picked up the seriousness of his condition surely?
Oh well - at least we now have him under control, diagnosed and now it is just monitoring and controlling things and feeding him properly. At least my brother, sister-in-law and their kids can assist as both the kids have Diabetes and know the ins and outs of it all.
I ought to balance all this out by saying that in my case the greater part of the treatment, speed and people I've me has been positive with the occasional blip at the local level. Also the treatment and operation that was provided to my dad has probably meant that he is still with us today. I doubt he would have been if they hadn't done it.
Phew Roof Fixed
So that's fixed and a fine job he has done of it too plus all the guttering as well so that's one job out of the way. Will have to sort out the Insurance over the next few days once I get the Invoice/receipt. I took photos so they can see the damage.
I had a funny old night last night some amazing dreams - occasionally I get a series of amazing, technicolour dreams. So last night - fantastic - the trial and beheading of Charles I in the 17th Century. It was incredible and I was right in the action. There were some amazing details in it including stuff you couldn't make up when concious.
But, there was a downside to this dreaming. I'm thinking it was to do with Friday's tests and the fear of it not turning out as clear. I feel great at the moment, the change of diet is taking effect and I'm already losing weight and feeling great so I do hope that my check up will prove clear.
I think that since the last inspection and subsequent half operation that wasn't needed the changes I've made to my lifestyle should greatly assist. Since that time I've been using Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese on a regular basis. Exercise (albeit a bit problematic with my back problems) and now juicing is also assisting to get nutrients into my system so I'm hoping that all of these things will assist in keeping me clear.
But of course, I'm bound to be a little wary and a little worried about what they'll find but there you go.
I had a funny old night last night some amazing dreams - occasionally I get a series of amazing, technicolour dreams. So last night - fantastic - the trial and beheading of Charles I in the 17th Century. It was incredible and I was right in the action. There were some amazing details in it including stuff you couldn't make up when concious.
But, there was a downside to this dreaming. I'm thinking it was to do with Friday's tests and the fear of it not turning out as clear. I feel great at the moment, the change of diet is taking effect and I'm already losing weight and feeling great so I do hope that my check up will prove clear.
I think that since the last inspection and subsequent half operation that wasn't needed the changes I've made to my lifestyle should greatly assist. Since that time I've been using Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese on a regular basis. Exercise (albeit a bit problematic with my back problems) and now juicing is also assisting to get nutrients into my system so I'm hoping that all of these things will assist in keeping me clear.
But of course, I'm bound to be a little wary and a little worried about what they'll find but there you go.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Scope of Hope
Since the last check Cystoscopy which resulted in a visit to Hospital for my 10th or 11th Operation I have changed my lifestyle with some success and some failure but I hope with more of the former rather than any of the latter. So this Friday sees a six month check up based on them operating on me and finding nothing last year around June. Having found nothing they moved this check to 6 months and that, my friends. is progress indeed. Going from 4 month checks to 6 months is a big step in the right direction.
So this Friday is coming into view and I can feel the anticipation of it already but I'm feeling very positive about this. Since they found the anomaly in April last year I've changed diet and I try and have Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese everyday - in reality I probably manage 5 or 6 days a week at this as occasionally I get up and just don't fancy eating anything at all.
I look well, I feel well although I could feel better and I'm working on that - I do look so much better that I did even a year ago and as I joked with a friend who finally told me what I actually looked like when I WAS ill. I was so grey that I looked like I was dead. I remember it well - and some of the photographs of the time are just like there is a ghost who looks like me where I was.
This scope, this Friday, is a significant milestone to me as it would begin to allow me to start to believe that I am keeping clear and clean of Cancer. That would be a big help and incentive to continue with the regime I've set myself this year.
My appointment is early and that suits me, I can get in to the Hospital, get seen and then come home and just relax for the rest of the day in my chair watching my DVDs and having a weekend to take it easy.
So this Friday is coming into view and I can feel the anticipation of it already but I'm feeling very positive about this. Since they found the anomaly in April last year I've changed diet and I try and have Flax Seed Oil and Cottage Cheese everyday - in reality I probably manage 5 or 6 days a week at this as occasionally I get up and just don't fancy eating anything at all.
I look well, I feel well although I could feel better and I'm working on that - I do look so much better that I did even a year ago and as I joked with a friend who finally told me what I actually looked like when I WAS ill. I was so grey that I looked like I was dead. I remember it well - and some of the photographs of the time are just like there is a ghost who looks like me where I was.
This scope, this Friday, is a significant milestone to me as it would begin to allow me to start to believe that I am keeping clear and clean of Cancer. That would be a big help and incentive to continue with the regime I've set myself this year.
My appointment is early and that suits me, I can get in to the Hospital, get seen and then come home and just relax for the rest of the day in my chair watching my DVDs and having a weekend to take it easy.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Interesting article
I must point you to this blog post from Steve Kelley in the US. If nothing else it ought to challenge your thinking. I've certainly sat up and taken notice. I've now got the book (eBook) and started to make a study of it to see what I can learn from it. It seems to have made a huge difference in Steve's weight but more so his overall well-being.
One of the strange things is how your whole body is thrown out of kilter through having cancer, whether it is hormonal imbalance or something else it is marked and I'm interested in some of the areas explored especially linked to sleep, something that I struggle with, energy (stamina) and generally losing some weight in a controlled way. Also it appears to have assisted Steve with posture too - and with my back giving me intermittent problems I wonder if that too might be addressed.
Anyway, whilst it is a long read, it is very interesting and thought provoking especially the way that some areas concerning diet and exercise challenge accepted thinking. For that reason alone it is worth investigating.
One of the strange things is how your whole body is thrown out of kilter through having cancer, whether it is hormonal imbalance or something else it is marked and I'm interested in some of the areas explored especially linked to sleep, something that I struggle with, energy (stamina) and generally losing some weight in a controlled way. Also it appears to have assisted Steve with posture too - and with my back giving me intermittent problems I wonder if that too might be addressed.
Anyway, whilst it is a long read, it is very interesting and thought provoking especially the way that some areas concerning diet and exercise challenge accepted thinking. For that reason alone it is worth investigating.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Booked
We are off on holiday/vacation - a little early in the year but that's OK. Lucerne, Venice, Florence, Rome and Turin. I'm hoping we may get a chance to do Pisa or Lucca or something like that as we have managed to get a couple of extra days in Venice, Florence and Rome. We are going to do the whole thing by rail which sounds awful but shouldn't be considering that we can get to Paris so fast from here. we have upgraded on a couple of the longer journeys to First Class but the trains are so fast these days you hardly have to do that.
I'm certainly looking forward to this - I've always wanted to go to Florence and Rome and Venice for that matter. I loved Milan when I was there - and we actually change train there although we only have an hour between trains so we wont see much of the place. It should be a bit of an adventure and for us, it takes less time to go by train especially to Paris and Brussels than by air. Think of all the hassle having to fly. When you go by train that last time anyone will ask for a Passport is at our local station when we leave and when we come back. None of that check in up to 2 hours before you fly, people not knowing what seat they are in standing up for hours queuing to get onto a plane that won't leave without you and generally is boarded by seat numbers!
There is something quite insane about the way people behave in groups - especially tourists they seem to lose all vestiges of common sense and turn into sheep. Then you can't move around in the cabin too much and there's all the hassle about food. On the train there are restaurants, food trolleys etc. In first class you get a meal and booze too :-)
Even better is that the trains arrive smack in the centre of cities we are visiting with the hotels between 1 and 3 blocks away from the station and the attractions a short distance from there. I could be converted :-)
I used to enjoy working in Paris and Brussels for that very reason - once I was on board then I was whisked from city centre to city centre with food and drink provided and at either end I wasn't far from home or work.
I suppose the only bit I'm not feeling great about is being away whilst dad is ill but the truth is that it will be what it will be and that's the bottom line. We need to get away and Mrs. F. could really do with a holiday as she hasn't really had one for all of 18 months and she works too hard - but ignores me when I say that :-( At least we can have some time off together. I'm guessing it must have been our Baltic Cruise then that was our last holiday and we enjoyed that - again going from city to city in a ship rather than flying. There's a pattern emerging here :-)
Anyway - done, booked and that's the end of that. Now to get the guide books, get cameras ready, waterproof jackets and suitcases sorted!
I'm certainly looking forward to this - I've always wanted to go to Florence and Rome and Venice for that matter. I loved Milan when I was there - and we actually change train there although we only have an hour between trains so we wont see much of the place. It should be a bit of an adventure and for us, it takes less time to go by train especially to Paris and Brussels than by air. Think of all the hassle having to fly. When you go by train that last time anyone will ask for a Passport is at our local station when we leave and when we come back. None of that check in up to 2 hours before you fly, people not knowing what seat they are in standing up for hours queuing to get onto a plane that won't leave without you and generally is boarded by seat numbers!
There is something quite insane about the way people behave in groups - especially tourists they seem to lose all vestiges of common sense and turn into sheep. Then you can't move around in the cabin too much and there's all the hassle about food. On the train there are restaurants, food trolleys etc. In first class you get a meal and booze too :-)
Even better is that the trains arrive smack in the centre of cities we are visiting with the hotels between 1 and 3 blocks away from the station and the attractions a short distance from there. I could be converted :-)
I used to enjoy working in Paris and Brussels for that very reason - once I was on board then I was whisked from city centre to city centre with food and drink provided and at either end I wasn't far from home or work.
I suppose the only bit I'm not feeling great about is being away whilst dad is ill but the truth is that it will be what it will be and that's the bottom line. We need to get away and Mrs. F. could really do with a holiday as she hasn't really had one for all of 18 months and she works too hard - but ignores me when I say that :-( At least we can have some time off together. I'm guessing it must have been our Baltic Cruise then that was our last holiday and we enjoyed that - again going from city to city in a ship rather than flying. There's a pattern emerging here :-)
Anyway - done, booked and that's the end of that. Now to get the guide books, get cameras ready, waterproof jackets and suitcases sorted!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)