Coffee With Flocky

Bless good old (not so much of the old) Flocky Bicep - he's a real mate and feel sorry I had to go see him for the pretence of coffee only to offload all my problems onto him.  He's been a real help to me over many years but more so at the moment when so much is going on in my life.

At least had a good long walk, got back to find my car here - which is good - so they sorted that out for me.  Still can't help but feeling very sick in my stomach and my head is so messed up at the moment.  I can't think straight and I hate being so out of control as such.  It makes me very uneasy indeed :-)

Fear and real uneasiness about what is going on with my life at the moment.  I've done the big shake up thing and got myself out of my malaise and started to turn things around when I've walked into a massive road block.  The Elephant is now in the Room and I'm ignoring it. Thinking about it is making me ill and not doing anything about it is causing me to have huge mood swings.

What is the Elephant in the Room?  I can't tell you at the moment because it is for me to deal with and me alone.  Needless to say somehow I've got to do something about it.  I've had plenty of time to think about it, I've spoken to two of my closest friends this week to make sure I'm not being over dramatic or missing the point or just not thinking straight which is my big fear on this - am I thinking correctly or am I wrong.  I think I know I'm right and I don't like the answer at all. In fact I'm pretty sure I'm right and don't like the answer :-) 

Sure I'll write more when I've sorted myself out or even when I'm trying to sort myself out.  For the moment, the Elephant remains in the room but only I can see it.  For some reason that just flashed into my mind Family Guy and Chris Griffin's Evil Monkey in the Closet that only he can see :-)  Except my Elephant is much bigger and possibly more evil...