Dear reader, it can hardly have escaped your notice that my head has been in some pretty awful places not just of late but also these past 7 years. I have no doubt that different people deal with things different ways and I have been trying to approach my particular problems in every way from scientific to complete scattergun :-)
Problems build up in you - or they do in me - but they build slowly and like a Volcano the Magma Chamber slowly fills, small Earthquakes are registered and after a while, all hell breaks loose as the Volcano erupts. So in many ways it has been a long journey towards this day.
It's only been just over a month since I decided that I needed to tackle an issue that has dogged me for some considerable time. I changed my attitude, I had to, I could no longer let my personality type bottle in and suppress what was happening to me. It didn't really help that this all coincided with the anniversary of my getting Cancer, My Father's death last year, my Anniversaries of diagnosis and operation and today it would be 7 years to the day that I would have been released from Hospital to start this long long road to recovery.
Last night I finally, finally got around to "kick off" the process of sorting myself out once and for all. I finally, as I termed it, Bit the Bullet. We used to say that one had to "Eat the Frog" - an unpleasant task that had to be done. In many ways what is about to happen is unpleasant and uncomfortable. Many people will be upset but no one will die. More later.
But the main thing here is that by finally starting to address this and Lord knows I've procrastinated for far too long, I feel a huge weight has come off my shoulders, I finally don't feel this sick to the pit of my stomach feeling anymore. Whilst I know that things may become unpleasant, they need to happen.
It's the 26th July 2013. Time to move on......
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