At the moment Life is great for me. it isn't quite where or what I want it to be but hey it is early days yet and Rome wasn't built in a day. The struggle I have constantly is the battle between emotional living and being an analyst. If only I could decide who in this self-imposed schizophrenic state is the more dominant partner? At the moment it is a struggle and powerful as my emotions are at the moment I am still controlling and holding these in check.
The reason is that I find the emotional responses and actions are actually quite frightening to me - it makes you go out of control and it isn't logical or reasoned and I had a strange episode earlier where I just went into a depressive state - I countered it by going for a walk and then chatting with a friend and that was it over and done.
I think that the damage that was done to my mind and my body were actually quite significant and so I'm weak in terms of being able to fight off some of this stuff. My joke about crying at Bambi's mother's demise is about right. Silly stuff affects me deeply for no apparent reason at all.
But overall life is sweet and life is good. It's bloody complicated and complex and going to get worse but it is still good.
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