A good night's sleep and up just gone 6 so that is a bit better than it has been. It's still not quite where it was and my head is still full of rubbish and problems that aren't but I am controlling those now.
The weather doesn't help as it is so hot that physical work really is difficult and sapping so confined to small chores leaves me a little frustrated but accepting this inevitable slow down in activity is a difficult thing to do. Ageing, retirement, loss of purpose and the like are taking some getting used to for sure.
I kind of hate it at the moment as you start to lose what you thought made you you if that makes sense? You have to roll with these I guess? Difficult as I'd thought I'd recovered from the major changes in my life and here I am again, more changes, things not in my control again too.
Of course, some things are in my control though, it is finding what they are and making the change to those that is necessary.
Life feels unbalanced and I flip flop between being OK with it and not. My mind is not helping either and even now the pain body and ego are trying to make me miserable which I am fighting. Knowing this is good I suppose? They need to be suppressed as much as possible or identified and stopped before they do more damage over imagined problems.
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