As if to counter the previous comment

I was out with friends and spoke of this concern that I am just turning up and doing day to day (menial tasks).

The rough interpretation was "Why not take the sh1t for a few years? You've worked hard all your life and got ill to prove it, why not take it easy, do the 9 to 5 and retire?"

You can see that at 51 years of age, no mortgage left that it would appeal and yet, I don't have the capability to be a drone - I never have. I wonder what I should be doing in this situation.

I continue to fight with these demons - I ought to be doing good things with all of this and yet to 9 to 5 and take the money isn't my style at all, it isn't in my make up (not mascara and lip stick Flocky Bicep!!).

Too late to moralise now but it needs consideration as I still love the job but the menial sometimes really hacks me off.