No letter?

I've not had confirmation of my day in Hospital yet? Mind you that is often the case. I suppose if I don't have it by Tuesday I ought to ask as I would need to be assessed on 1st December.

My colleague goes in this Thursday for his operation and then won't be back to work until the New Year and I am guessing that is true from my side too once I go in, in reality I won't be back until the 18th or 19th at the earliest - I will have to see how I am - we tend to close down for the two weeks (almost) over Christmas and the New Year and so the 5th January is realistic for me too.

I am expecting, dare I say it, to be clear again. It will be bitterly disappointing if it is anything different. The next month or so is a no-mans land as I'm still not sure what to expect. This time I am far more confident of the outcome and yet there is still some doubt. It nags at the back of your mind that this, of all cancers, has a nasty habit of coming back. It is treatable but I really could do with getting back to being me and moving on again. No matter what you think this hovers over you all the time and you are faced with (as a friend put it yesterday) FUD - Fear Uncertainty and Doubt.

If the uncertainty goes then perhaps the other two will fade away and I can get on and make some decisions in 2009. Decisions? If things are clear and I have the gift of more time - what am I going to do with it - time that is?