Nothin worse I find than Mrs. F. Packing and at 8 in the morning saying that "I'll never be ready! Why did we say we were going to your friend's birthday party?" and so on. There's no pleasing her she will go off and do the martyr bit and try and do everything at once. As usual I am all but ready I just need a few things from the laundry and that's me done. I've done all the reading, got all the documents ready and to be fair (why is everyone saying that and "to be honest" at the moment?) we were going to my friend's 50th way before we booked the holiday it isn't as if I just sprung it on her :-)
I just want to be there and enjoying the place and relaxing a bit too. I would like to spend some time just doing next to nothing but we will see if Mrs. F. has anything else planned she did say she was going to relax - it would be a first for sure. I just need to eat sensibly.
I'm in a strange place today for sure - I know that I've got the cancer back again but I'm not like I was when I was first diagnosed - in fact just before I was diagnosed - I was really in bits. Now - well I'm more pragmatic about it. Sure it is a set back and sure I really don't need it but I am lucky in that it is very early on in the process and that it has been caught relatively quickly. I am also thankful that at present it is in my bladder and let's hope that is where it stays.
I have to say that I'm really positive about things as I know that they can sort this out but what I don't like is the possibility that I may be getting closer to the point where I may lose the bladder altogether. That is someway off I believe but we will have to see. My friend had a number of recurrences and a number of BCG rounds before having to have his bladder removed last year.
Anyway - positive thoughts and working on ways to live with this diagnosis are now high on my list.
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