Yuk

I hate the way my brain works sometimes. It can bang on being "holier than though" it can be full of remorse, it can "not give a hoot" and it can tear you apart.

Bloody thing, I wish it would leave me alone sometimes, I could get on and watch EastEnders or Holly oaks then and understand them :-) Nah! What am I saying - I'd need 99% of my grey cells destroyed to understand those!

Watch out for your brain, it gives you no peace. It creeps up on you and tells you things are wrong when they aren't, it frightens you, it misinforms you and it scares you. Last night it was telling me that I probably had Bowel Cancer - today it told me it may have got that wrong. Trouble is I lost a lot of sleep worrying about something I know I don't have, nor do I have the symptoms of. Just what is the brain there to do? It doesn't comfort you or help you out much it sticks objects in your way and gives you complicated statistics to figure out or runs you through horrible life and death scenarios. Is it really meant to be doing that? Is it my brain or did someone implant it when I was in Hospital to constantly upset me, piss me off, challenge my feelings and paint the worst picture available?

I feel I'm fighting my brain more than I'm fighting the disease.