Not a great start to Sunday

I was in a furious mood - apoplectic almost.  Nothing to do with BC or anything like that (or I don't think so), no, just the normal thing of being treated like I'm invisible.  So I stomped off for a 3 mile walk around the woods and fields here - very nice, early morning, birds chirping, sun highlighting dappled areas in the woods and so on - all very nice but I missed breakfast and when I got in I thought to have my pills and stuff, didn't eat until lunchtime and have been a bit bear with sore headish all morning.


I'm pretty p1ssed off with this behaviour and went to cool off as it does annoy me occasionally, this is the usual stuff like no one talks to you or they go out and don't tell you and many other such things.  


I really didn't feel like eating and I don't really even now - I forced some lunch down but I reckon I probably could have lasted until this evening as yesterday's cheat day loaded me up with lots of forbidden foods and I feel full up with them.  It was OK yesterday apart from no beers.  I did fancy a beer in the garden but there you go.  Had plenty of cheese, bread, pasta and the like to munch on during the day.


I'm spending time weighing up my options and trying to think what I'd like to do.  It's a difficult thing really as I also have an option to go back to doing what I used to do and making some serious bucks doing it or to get out of that altogether and just live a simpler and (hopefully) more rewarding life.  That also added to my anger this morning as I would question whether what I end up doing is compatible with what everyone else wants.  In a way, I've spent a lot of my life doing stuff and building my life using the money that I've produced and now, I'm not sure that is what I really want to continue to do.  I'm writing down pipe dreams if for no other reason than to get them out of my head.  Then there are those that are possible but affect how near I am to hospital review and that sort of thing - do I have access to the services of a Hospital as good as the one locally to me?  All of this is also having an affect on my thinking and my demeanour and some of it is also bound to question how people (family more especially) relate to these.  


If they fail to fit in on a day-to-day basis now, what chance to go and do something else?  Perhaps the road ahead is a single lane carriageway - just one person wide?  That's also part of the thinking, it has to be if I'm to explore all possible things that I want to do.