I do get down this time of year and it happens regularly and to varying extents. Last year it was very dark, black and gloomy. This year it isn't as bad but it is still there.
So I started to wonder about this and it is probably a couple of reasons I think. When I was at work Christmas came up fast and one minute you were working and the next on holiday for a while and then back to work. With having the children it was a lovely family time and we could all spend time together and having parties and the like. Even before Children we had a number of parties, midnight mass, a big family meal and so on.
It was good and whilst I probably got my seasonal SAD sadness, I was busy and had little time to dwell on it.
I realise that it is the 10th year since I left my Ex and in all that time, I've not had a Christmas with my children or my grandchildren but have with my Partner and her family. I then thought about how I've got time to ponder and mull over this and perhaps that's why it is a problem to me.
Whilst we have a pleasant Christmas Day and we have entertained members of her family we haven't done so for mine. They have their Christmas and I have mine I suppose.
I probably need to do something about this but I'm not sure what at the moment.
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