An old friend wrote to say they were "under control" after Prostate Cancer treatment - all is being held at bay so to speak. Then shocking news this morning as someone I knew died yesterday. I knew her to say hello to and it was unexpected to say the least. It is something that has obviously upset me albeit only the suddenness of it all. Things trigger emotions inside of you so someone else you know going through treatment is unconsciously bringing it all back and someone that I expected to see in a month or so is no longer with us.
Most of my Christmas deliveries have now been made - a couple later today and that is it apart from the Christmas in a Box which is due 22nd. I've got just about everything I need to get excepting a few items. Christmas is often anticlimactic for me. I wonder if I try and reconstruct the Christmases of my past and they never quite live up to the hype? There's a strangeness about this year that I cannot quite put my finger on. I imagine it's just me trying too hard when I know, deep down, it's going to be a disappointment once again. Keep trying I suppose but something isn't right.
I feel stomach churning sick and it's more like a nervous sick, a worried sick if that makes any sense? I've tried too hard and I need to not do so. I'm also quite conscious that the App isn't ready and it should have been. I really wanted to get it out there for the world to download and try but, once again, it just isn't going to be. It's a nuisance I have to say as it is the right time of year to launch especially when everyone has their new gadgets for Christmas.
I have spent too much money and time on Christmas and so I just need to reset myself for next year and decide quite what I want.
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