Tuesday Blues

 I met with my cousins yesterday, a bit late notice as they weren't expecting to drive down this way but a quick look and I found a half way pub we could meet up at.  It was nice to catch up.

I trialled my Hearing Aids but I really found them difficult to work with as they made everything so loud (yes I know I can turn them down).  There are three settings sort of General, Outside and Inside but I could not work out which was which so I am going to try at home during the week. I have trouble hearing people in loud places, like pubs and restaurants especially these days when there is a move towards solid wall surfaces / brick and steel etc rather than soft absorbent materials so the sound bounces around and they insist on playing music everywhere.

I like music but imagine that, the chatter of other people, the machinery of a pub or restaurant and I struggle.  Actually my hearing is surprisingly good and my right ear where Ih ad 15 or so operations (or thereabouts) is, for all of that, only just below normal.  However it is inevitable that I'll require these aids but hopefully only in certain situations.

I'm feeling a little blue and down again.  My flashbacks take me to interesting periods in my life and the replays are generally OK but there's this regret and doubt coming in to play and I need to stop this "What if" and "Maybe if I" and so on.  These things happened in that order and you can't replay them.  It would be nice to think that finally something that didn't happen 50 years ago might magically happen now and all the happiness that your brain associates with that particular union might be kindled forever.  Stupid old romantic fool!  Of course not.  That's the problem and often as we used to say as youngsters "The thought is often better than the deed" and isn't that the truth.  I'll leave you to ponder on that but give one example.  I really liked this girl at school and she was in a relationship with one of the lads I knew and so everything was off limits.  I was chatting to her one day when she sort of let slip that she had broken up with him and so I suggested a date.  I'm not normally a quick worker or anything but she was a nice girl, very pretty and way out of my league.  To my surprise she said yes.  I was delighted but after a few drinks and back to her place she had the worst halitosis I've ever encountered.  It didn't really go on from there and after a few dates we sort of drifted apart and her ex came back on the scene.  The thought was indeed much better than the deed.  Nice girl though nevertheless.

So I need to stop making these rose tinted flashbacks unless I use them for a best selling novel of course, then all these experiences can be relived, garnished and served up as the truth!