It's OK To Not Be OK Right?

I find myself going through cycles again of gloom and then relative happiness and then to a period of acceptance and it's up and down all the time.

Whether or not this is me, my circumstances, surroundings or the time of year (again) I don't know.  I was thinking (dangerous) that things these days are not how I felt say 30 or so years ago.  By that I mean that I don't have the recreated feelings I did years ago, things have lost their sparkle, I've become more cynical and the veil of the world as it used to be presented to me has dropped away showing ugly avarice and corruption behind it.  Picture the Wizard of Oz where the curtains are pulled back and all is revealed for what it actually was not the grand show it projected itself prior to that.  

So perhaps that's what it is?  I think that I'd like people to stop p1ssing me off, stop interfering in my life, stop taking money off me and so on.  

The conversation with the Developer was, as usual, one of a further slip.  It appears to be not his fault and there's a work around but it really is an 11th hour problem and I'm sure there will be more but it is just draining on me.  I feel that people take your power away by draining all of yours.  It feels like that, perhaps it isn't so.

For now, I will have to just ride along with that and hope that we get some sort of resolution to that.  Everywhere else, I feel I am in this rut that I just can't quite get out of.  It seems to me to be myself defeating myself even though I know I've had plenty of stuff to beat me down and give me a tough time.  IT problems, the App, the Gates and House Maintenance - I just need to actually do something about them.  It would be easy to sit in the corner, grab a few beers and wallow in the despair of it all - but that's never fixed anything and it is just a matter of getting fired up to actually do things again.  I can see things that I could do and I'm still sitting here "thinking about it" which will never get a job done.

Anyway, I content myself at the moment that it is OK to be a bit down but that I need to boost my mind and get on and actually tackle stuff that's in front of me.