Breakfast With My Friend

 We go back a long way - probably 30 years or so and whilst we didn't quite hit it off first time, we gradually grew to respect each other and he's a great guy.  He is also a fellow survivor and we had cancer (different ones) but closely associated at the same time so we spent time sorting out our recoveries etc.

Today will be good as it will cheer me up no end and I can "discuss" what's just happened to me.  I sure hope I don't drain his energy - it can happen when you are discussing traumatic events.

What I cannot understand is quite how badly it has shaken me up.  I suppose I haven't seen this level of aggressive behaviour in a long time and I think I now understand what it actually is.  It certainly wasn't business and it certainly now appears to be personal albeit couched and hidden as some sort of regime change.

It appears to be something like 'Narcissistic Injury' or, 'Ego-Defensive Reactivity.'  His people are defending him, not applying business logic to the logical arguments and financial information I provided.  So that in itself implies that he has fed them a particular story that centres on his being wronged rather than the very loose reasons cited to have me removed as the director.  Interesting indeed.  The trouble is I offered early on to mediate and it was bluntly turned down and no one took that on board either.

When you deal with non business people you expect this I suppose but here we are.  The problem is I don't feel like it is a victory as it was pretty obvious what he was doing (not why he was doing it until just after the meeting when it became clear).  It became clear because as one of his friends left he used a phrase that then reminded me that this was the very phrase used when the chap quit the business!  

It's all about a word, it's all about him and feeling foolish.  He's then gone away and built a whole story about how he's been "cheated", "fooled", "wronged" and so on and his pain body and ego have added to this and he's got angrier and angrier seeking revenge and getting even (or more).  Of course his friends have rallied around and bought in to the narrative and it was telling that no one contacted me, discussed the statement or indeed appeared to have fully understood the position I was in and that he had put the company in.

Oh well, breakfast awaits and I hope that I will be feeling a lot better after that and a chat.