It has been a hell of a six months for sure. It is interesting that it has been around five months since I last went to a Lodge meeting and I was actually quite cheered that I went and I had a good time. It was nice to be back among friends and brothers. The roadworks were a challenge but I used the back lanes to get there and back but I see they are also closing one of those roads which leaves no real easy way to get there and back in a few weeks time. Who on earth decides these things needs to actually live in the area as the terrible state of the roads these days and the sheer number of closures is atrocious.
Other than that it was actually grounding for me. A friend with whom if you didn't know us, would think we were constantly insulting each other was there. Now it's a very English (possibly UK) thing and the banter was fun but then I checked how he was and it wasn't good. I knew he had some sort of heart problem as 6 months ago he was missing some teeth after a fall, now happily fixed. He told me that he actually has a number of problems including Prostate Cancer picked up at a recent test. added to heart, spine and lung problems his father -in-law passed away at the weekend! So he an I briefly spoke about my experiences which he remembers and I wished him well.
Another friend who nearly hacked off his hand with a chain saw when I was ill was also there and we sort of reminisced about that as he and I spoke often about our mutual problems.
It was nice to fit into my suit and have to adjust my regalia too! I estimate two inches, possibly three off my waist and chest which was great. I can easily button up my jacket which was tugging 6 months ago. My trousers were loose (I use braces which holds them up properly) and yes, that also felt good.
I woke at around 5 this morning and the full moon was lighting up the whole area and I thought about "things" as I watched the clouds across the face of the moon and decided that perhaps I'd now review things somewhat differently and by that I mean a plan to make a decision about life, the universe and everything. The business has become personal and will it make a difference to my life and do anything to being joy or happiness day-to-day? At the moment, probably not. There's the achievement of getting it to market (half of it rather than all). There's overcoming all the brickbats thrown at me but do I really want this to be my future and to define the way I live going forward? I dislike (as most do) being a quitter but that may be the way forward that present trends determine anyway given the useless speech by the chancellor yesterday.
It takes my time, it stops me from being retired and it also steals my energy for little or no purpose. It's a way forward and may be what I needed to do.
So a plan is what is needed. An exit plan - which I never got around to writing because of the nonsense that ensued just before the desertion of the inventor bloke.
So that's what I am going to do now, take stock, look at the risks vs rewards and determine whether it is worth doing. There, I feel fine thinking about it and it could be a win / win for me so I can walk away and get on with my life.
All you need is a grounding event like this and some home truths and news about some of your colleagues, one passed away last week another has had a fall and is in Hospital and you soon start to filter out the negativity in your own life and make plans to change the things that hurt and upset you.
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