It was a good night, up just the once and slept through to gone 6 and so a solid 7 maybe 7 1/2 hours. That's better than it was and I don't have the high levels of anxiety of last week but still something there gnawing away.
It is (this morning) a feeling of being trapped a slight claustrophobic feeling but, of course I can do something about that, get up, stand outside, move around the rooms etc. It isn't always that - I have started to worry about my daughters one of whom is on her round the world trip and was flying overnight to Canada. She's a seasoned traveller but I just have this slight on edge feeling when I think about it. I recall seeing her photos and videos from New Zealand leaping from an aircraft and parachuting over the Southern Alps / Fjords. Do it whilst you are young and good luck to her but there's the background worry about such things.
My worry at the moment is this preoccupation about getting old and now I have no business to work on, what to do with myself and how to spend my time. It's a wobble I didn't think I'd have to deal with but now I see that I was woefully unprepared for the transition. I am not sure whether to get involved in things or walk away from the commitments that I still have and it's all playing on my mind.
I am sure I will get there but it is unnerving at the moment and just something I need to work on.
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