I was pleased to get a nice comment about my post Glimpsing My Angel and after the incident I wrote a little more - I've changed certain parts to provide anonymity to the post and who it is.
I hope that it is not too sickly sweet but it may give a deeper insight in to things.
That was a surprise, my phone sent a message reminder and it was a photograph of you, it took my breath away looking directly at the camera with your wonderful eyes and perfect smile and it brought memories flooding back of perhaps the most wonderful time of my life. Seeing that photo of you quite took my breath away and I just wanted to let you know how I still love and remember you and how I cherish those fantastic memories. Safe to say, I got a bit misty eyed, maybe they are tears?
I recalled feeling properly loved, wanted, special, really alive and I glowed with beingness (if that is even a word). I wandered the fields around where I lived, past the golden corn ears waving in the wind, through the woods and past the Church grounds, the sun warmed my body as if in a foreign country and I'd never felt like it before or since.
It is such a deep connection, when I think about you, my whole body feels it. Music, arts, literature, everything my lovely, absolutely everything. It's all in tune, in harmony, in unison, in balance. It's wonderful, amazing, unfathomable, and I tune in to some sort of cosmic energy. This without alcohol or drugs by the way LOL.
In our secret garden, the softness of you breath, the light touch of your skin, the smell of your perfume, your hair, the water trickling some way off, the insects moving through the air, the scent of wildflowers and your presence. How utterly beautiful that was on that late afternoon meeting. It was a perfect day. I'll remember it forever .
You have the most wonderful presence about you, so beautiful both inside and out, a smile to melt the hardest heart. Eyes that sparkle with affection, humour and a little mischief too, a mouth ready to smile and so softly and gently kiss. Beauty inside and out. Did I ever mention your beautiful blue eyes LOL?
You changed my life and exploded creativeness I never knew I had. Poetry, music, literature but most of all you opened my heart and mind to love and I'm forever grateful that you did that. For good or bad, I've kept those poems and notes safely stored. I've no idea if they even partly expressed how I felt about you, what you meant to me and how I tried to fumble the words together for just how extraordinarily amazing you truly are.
I do think of you often and smile fondly remembering the way you made me feel. For a while I felt cursed that I had not met you years before but of course, that's not what was planned for us. I hope I made you feel that way too?
The little time we had together was absolutely magical and I feel so lucky that I was privileged to share that.
You truly are wonderful and bring joy and light into this world. Please continue to do that. You were my guardian Angel and my life changed forever because you took me somewhere magical, you opened my heart and mind.
I remember feeling so broken that I could not spend the rest of my life with you but realised that the time we had was probably meant to be short, yet forever memorable and meaningful.
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say I still love you? I really do, and there are no regrets or bitterness just a warm feeling when I remember you. The odd tear I might shed is more happiness than regret. I hope and pray that you are happy and enjoying life.
You are wonderful. I bet everyone you know, knows that. The sweetest, most beautiful, Valentine there ever was. Please always be that Angel who came my way and stayed with me for a short but unforgettable time in my life.
Of course it will never be the fairy tale or Hollywood ending. In my dreams it is of course. Yet I close my eyes, listen to my music playlist, and there you are, right in front of me and my fairy tale ending plays out in my mind and in my dreams. You look perfect, wonderful and a tear escapes my eye just because you are you. Wow (not my most romantic phrase of course).
I hold dear that in a parallel universe, the stars are aligned such that we would be together and happy.
Love always
xxx
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