Spider Senses

 A friend of mine often comes out with "Spider Senses" and what he means is that you know something is wrong but you can't quite put your finger on what it is.

I've a similar sort of Spider Sense and some people set off alarm bells in my head.  Now it could be anything that does this, how they behave generally, their body language and also how they talk.  It's something I think is in built in us, possibly more so as I had to manage people from a young age and being "different" it just sort of means that I am alert to people's behaviour more so than most I guess.  

I dislike the way that people hold grudges, don't like or are outright intolerant of others.  A case in point being that I do not generally hold grudges or anything like that in the way that most people do.  If you've wronged me somehow you will either know about as I told you, or be wondering why certain things are happening to you, as I haven't told you but I'm pulling invisible strings and getting my own back (I know it's childish but it's also very interesting and quite rewarding too).  However, you are more than likely to find that you never get contacted by me again or I totally ignore you.  I don't have a need to be confrontational, once it's happened it's generally over and I move on (these days).  So it is interesting that all of a sudden someone needs something to be done but they've burnt their boats a long time ago.  They need to get something done but it looks like I will have to do it as I didn't go for the option and still remain in touch.

This is circuitous but what I am trying to say is that if there's a good reasons to burn your boats then do so but realise what the potential outcome might be in doing that.  Once it is done, it is difficult to come back from it.  Choose wisely what bridges you burn.  Mine are those where the other party has done something that requires me to break off communication or to "Punish" the infraction in some way.  Very few make it back from that position.  However, I don't do it because I dislike something minor about them as many people take and give offence far to lightly and easily these days.  

Back to Spider Senses.  I can generally feel that something is awry way before it may become obvious.  I find a lot of people aren't genuine, aren't what they make out they are or have some sort of hidden agenda.  My Spider Senses will do things like make the hair on the back of my neck raise, or on my arms, limit my reactions and make almost every interaction guarded and I'm highly alert to what is going on in their whole demeanour.  Something alerts me to this but I couldn't tell you exactly what.

Out with people in a group and watch the interactions and the way the conversation ebbs and flows, who dominates and who is quiet (normally me the first set of times I meet you but after that I'm far more relaxed).  I can pick up on most things except flirting or similar sorts of come on.  That's the INTJ problem they don't always pick up on it unless it is quite obvious or they are initiating it.  I really didn't get the signals on a number of occasions and almost had to told directly what was meant and of course then I got it.  However, if someone is a Ne'er-do-well or not who they make out to be or isn't going to be a team player or some such I can find them out really quickly.  

It's going to be fun to try and do the intermediary job for the burnt bridges scenario.  I wonder if they will learn from that?  It will also be interesting for me to think about the people that I have sent to Coventry and knowing full well that they deserved it consider whether there was any value in not doing so.  Yes, thought about it, they bloody well deserved it and a bit more really.