Well that didn't go quite as I had planned. I thought that I would use this blog to compile a book about my experiences and with that noble endeavour in mind I set off to try and do that. The automatic blog to book sites didn't seem to cut it so I started off cutting and pasting between the blog and a word processor but as I progressed and edited and checked I started to feel really down and it got worse as I delved deeper into the story not just the health side but some of the bastards I had to deal with too. In hindsight I had let my guard down on some of these charlatans and was not in a position, at that time, to fight it off. In the main because I didn't recognize the threats nor did I have time to being focused mainly on myself.
As I read on and got into it, I started to realise that I was being taken advantage of and saw a lot of things in a completely different light, hindsight being an exacting science of course. So I was getting angry inside and of course the more I read the more I realised and also the story was unfolding and again with the benefit of hindsight I could have done things differently.
It was depressing and distressing too and you cannot undo history but you can interpret it in a different way and you see the mistakes made although not in the context that those decisions were done with all best intentions.
So, I have stopped for now as it really wasn't helping me at all. I want it to help someone, anyone, in the future but they can find this stuff online as well as I can. So for now, not being strong enough to see the pain and suffering I went through is one thing but to see the circling vulture like behaviour of some, means I have to stop as it really is upsetting.
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