It never ceases to amaze me how often I go from a high to a low in quick order. I have to remind myself that I only had an operation 3 days ago and that I should be resting instead - I've tried to get back to work and I feel pants for it.
I beat myself up because I'm "letting the side down" and yet I'm not really, it's a work ethic thing and I feel pretty bad that I'm not pulling my weight this week but a chat with my mate sets me right about that and I'm ordered to stop trying to work (basically because I'm getting nowhere and getting nothing done and frustrating the hell out of myself). He's been through similar things to me and so we agree that this is a good move and I bow to his commands.
It's pretty much a case of how much cr@ps been pushed into my body and the trauma involved, even if they didn't actually take any biopsies.
I have decided to potter about, do a bit of filing and tidy up my desk then go and have a bath and then come downstairs and watch a DVD or something resting.
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