I've been kept out of the preparations for most of the day and they've all gone to Church and I've just had a shower and suddenly I've come over all sad and it's bound to be that this is the last Christmas that I'll be in this house, in this situation and that somehow I'd expected things to be a bit different. I didn't expect to still be here for Christmas I suppose which is a big change. Additionally I also guess that I had thoughts of sharing it with someone else - but that was just a pipe dream and could never be either.
The combination of being the "bad" guy tonight and being on my own in a house full of people is a bit disturbing. I'll make the most of it though. I've not been tempted to have a drink yet - I've eaten a big lunch so as to make sure there is something to settle any booze onto. I am aware that I need to take it easy too.
I hope it will be a good night tonight I'd hate to think that through my presence it would disturb any harmony there may be there. I suppose it's up to everyone else - if they don't want to be happy I reckon. I will go there with the right attitude and just see how it pans out.
I don't expect to be cut too much slack from Mrs. F and the girls although L is always good value so I hope that she helps to make the evening. Just need to grin and bear it I suppose.
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