I don't know what has changed but I am feeling a lot better this week. Grandson is here and we did Pumpkin carving yesterday - it was a massive Pumpkin I have to say. Looks great though.
But something else has changed and I feel a lot lighter than I have and whilst there are still some negative thoughts arising they are not long lived nor are they as destructive as previously encountered. It's actually quite nice not to have these nagging thoughts running through my conscious moments.
I am trying to be "in the now" which is helpful. Arguing in my head that something I may be worried about hasn't actually happened yet is working. I feel it coming up about something say like house maintenance and it's 11 at night and I just have to stop that as I cannot do anything about it right now. It will wait until I need to tackle it, then I can organise what I am going to do and what "problems" might occur. Being a serial planner doesn't help as my whole life was about pre-planning, risk management and so on. Whilst there is a place for that - retirement doesn't mean that it goes away it just means that you can do these things in your own good time.
Anyway, long may this continue and progress feels like it is being made - you never know, it maybe the slow lane road to recovery for me. I DO hope so, I've been down long enough.
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