15th September, last Tuesday was one year to the day that I had my last BCG instillation. I am amazed that it is that long ago but it was. The next anniversary of note is in October when this humble blog turns three years old.
Things move on again and I notice that I'm gaining more confidence that perhaps this can be put behind me a bit now. It is terribly difficult not to live with this every day as there are reminders every day. Every time you meet someone you haven't seen for a while they ask you how you are. this blog, my general state of health, going to the toilet (yes you still look to see if there is blood every time), the daily tablets and other such reminders.
The other issue is still the most difficult one to live with and that is that whilst I'd like to make the most of my good fortune, no one else really realises what it actually means to be alive when you thought you might not be or perhaps felt that you'd be ill for the rest of your life.
I continue to work on how to square that problem and so far none of the solutions I've come up with are actually that palatable. I know that those around me have no real idea of what I've gone through and I've probably no real idea what they have gone through either. I'd like to go off and do something different and I'm not certain they want to do what I want to.
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2 comments:
Desperado
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now.
Oh, you're a hard one,
But I know that you've got your reasons.
These things that are pleasin' you,
Can hurt you somehow.
Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy,
She'll beat you if she's able.
Know the queen of hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me, some fine things,
Have been laid upon your table.
But you only want the things that you can't get.
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger:
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home.
And freedom, oh freedom,
Well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking,
Through this world all alone.
And don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow, the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling,
Goes away?
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, and open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you,
You better let somebody love you,
You better let somebody love you,
You better let somebody love you,
Before it's too late.
Nicely put :-)
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