And Yet - What Is It That You've "Lost"?

It's an interesting word is 'lost'.  What exactly do you lose when you've lost something?  I've lost a number of years of my life, I've lost my self esteem, I've lost a watch, I've lost money on this or that venture.  Strange how we've lost things and yet in reality it's what makes us what we are - everything leading up to now that is.  It's all part of the journey.

I don't recollect who it was but someone was saying that it's how you get to where you are going rather than where you are going that was important?  I look back at the moment - even though I know I should not - and I see opportunities missed but of course others taken.  I see things I've lost including the opportunity to have sorted my predicament out a long time ago.  I see other things lost, great friendships lost and then again others made and so does it all balance out in the end?

I love the saying "It will all be alright in the end.  If it's not alright, it's not the end"  how good is that? :-)

It's Saturday morning, Mrs. F. has gone out somewhere and I'm in here on my own.  I'm doing some work on eBay and I've got plenty to do this afternoon with the company web site which I am writing now.  However my mind keeps turning to what was lost and in many many ways it is negative to think like this because what possible good can it do it is in the past and remains so.

I've "lost" one of the greatest opportunities of my life I think but it wasn't my decision that it was lost so I can do nothing about it and still cannot no matter what my head may think.  I've lost my 32 year marriage and the opportunity to grow old with the person that I grew up with and all the great times we had together.  At the moment I guess both of us are only looking at the negative things and I still go back and wonder if we've actually lost anything or whether we've gained something?  Physical loss just means that - it's gone but everything you own is only transient anyway.  

There's regret and this feeling of missed opportunities and the road not taken but what on earth can you do about it unless you use those experiences to build on.  Perhaps the art is not to continue to make the same mistakes again?  I find that these things surface a lot at the moment and then I just have to bat them back into touch and ignore them.  It's all happened and regrets and concerns over something you can't actually change is just so counterproductive and destructive that you don't need to think like that.

I'm pretty glad that I managed to get prepared for all this - 6 months ago I'd probably have been a wreck about it :-)